Posts Tagged ‘ gender differences ’

Military Families Celebrate July 4th with Adoption

Friday, July 6th, 2012

Congratulations to air force family Travis and Jenn, who adopted their beautiful son Isaac this year [photograph of Travis holding Isaac at right] after the dynamic and deserving couple persevered through eight miscarriages. 

Jenn’s career air force husband Travis was transferred south to an army base in southwest Missouri, and they started life anew. Doctors discovered Jenn suffers from a clotting disorder as she miscarried once again in Missouri. Jenn herself was adopted, and her little brother too.

Today we salute all the military parents who have to be away from their loved ones, their children, to fight for our country and preserve our freedoms for generations to come.

Thanks for Jenn and Travis for sharing these photos of their new son, Isaac.

Happy July 4th to troops everywhere who protect and rescue children from horrible, heartrending circumstances all over the globe. As our family continues on the quest to internationally adopt an orphan from a poverty-stricken or war-torn country, I thank our troops for helping to stabilize and protect mothers and children in countries like the Sudan, Ethiopia and Somali.

Happy July 4th to all. Tell me your adoption story in Comments below.

Photo credit: Military father Travis with newly adopted son, Isaac

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff

Adopting is Too Expensive for Many Families

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

Reader Joanne inspires me with her adoption story of two kids and how her family fared through the ultimate roller-coaster of domestic adoption, but ended up with two county-sponsored adoptions via foster care that cost her family little to no financial investment. I don’t know about you, but not being able to afford adoption is the worst thing.

If innocent little kids can find worthy homes but don’t all because of money, something is incredibly wrong with our legal adoption system.

Joanne said, “I would love to keep hope alive since it was something my family had to do while waiting. We were living in California at the time and applied to the local county adoptions.  We moved through all the classes you are now going through, and we were placed on a list to be matched.

While I had three grown sons from a previous marriage, my husband never had children and always wanted one. Since my bio clock was done for — we were both well over 40 at the time — we decided to try foster to adoption. Our home study was approved in May 2002 and we did get matched with a newborn on Christmas eve. The county had a program called concurrent planning where  you are placed with an infant that is 95% sure will lead to an adoption.

It was unfortunate that during that emotional first placement, the birth mother changed her mind and after six glorious days, our potential new daughter was returned back to her birth mother.”

Joanne and her husband waited another four months or so after finishing classes,  until March 200, to get the call about a safe surrender baby girl. All 50 states have some kind of safe surrender program where the birth mom can drop off an infant at any hospital or fire station and not be prosecuted for doing so.

Joanne’s daughter was delivered by the birth mother at a hospital where she left saying she did not want the baby.  Joanne said, “We brought her home at 2 ½ months old and her adoption was finalized in September 2004 so it was a total of 20 months all together.”

In late May 2006 we  were matched with yet another safe surrender baby girl. This little one was a home birth and the birth mother dropped her off at a hospital and left. She was only 2.5 pounds, and was in the hospital for months. We started visiting her daily, feeding and holding her until she was able to come home. Since being placed with us that July, we finalized her adoption in April 2007,  only nine months later.”

Joanne’s family has moved to a different state and they are now in the process of getting a foster care license in their new state so we they can again  help children who need a safe place. She said, “At this point, we are in our mid-fifties and very happy with our late-in-life adoptions and being able to help others. I hope that my life story will encourage others to keep their dream alive.

Keep up the great work, Nicole!” Tell me your adoption story here:

Thank you back, Joanne, the world needs more parents like you. 

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff

American Association of Poison Control, “Children Act Fast and so does Poison”

Friday, April 6th, 2012

The American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) is cautioning parents, grandparents and caregivers that poisonings happen in just a few seconds!  “About half of all poison exposures involve children younger than 6, most often occurring when parents are busy preparing meals. Poisonings also occur when the normal routine changes – during holidays or while moving, visiting or traveling,” Carr said.

In 2010, U.S. poison centers answered more than 3.9 million calls, including nearly 2.4 million calls about human exposures to poisons. In children, about 40 percent of poisonings involve medicines; the other 60 percent of poisonings in children involve products such as plants, cleaning supplies, cosmetics, pesticides, paints and solvents.
Poisoning is the fourth leading cause of death among children, with peak incidences occurring between ages 1 and 3.

“The 50th anniversary of National Poison Prevention Week is the perfect time to stress the importance of poison-proofing your home to keep your children and grandchildren safe.”

America’s 57 poison centers are committed to safeguarding the health and well-being of every American through poison prevention and free, confidential, expert medical services. Poison centers respond to calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week in order to help those who have been exposed to toxic substances.

Here are their tips:

• Inspect your home and garage to make sure medicines, cleaning products, pesticides and fertilizers are stored up high, away and out of sight of children.

• Tell children what medicine is and why you must be the one to give it to them. Never call medicine “candy” to get kids to take it.

• Don’t leave medicines or vitamins on counters, window sills, bedside tables or the refrigerator top.

• Keep cleaning products and household chemicals in their original containers with their original labels intact.
• Keep batteries out of a child’s reach. Call your local poison center right away if a child swallows a battery.

• Keep magnetic toys and other magnetic items away from small children. Call your local poison center right away if you think a child has swallowed a magnet.
• Know the name of all household plants in your home; remove any poisonous plants from your house and yard.

• Remember that child-resistant is not child-proof. Layer the protection: re-seal and lock up, out of sight and reach.

Have you ever had an accident like this with a foster child or an adoptee? Tell me your story here!

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff

International Adoption: Adopting Little Girls

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

My family is still interested in adopting a little girl through an International Adoption agency, and it is so very interesting that the adoption of girls internationally has outnumbered the adoption of boys roughly 60%  in the last several years. According to several agencies I tapped. In 2007 — the last date I could get my hands on those stats — of the 19,471 children adopted internationally, 11,846 of were girls and 7,789 were boys.

Choice of gender is, obviously, a factor when it comes to adoption around the world. Parents will usually choose a girl instead of a boy to adopt.

Why do most adoptive parents want a girl? According to one agency that offers motivating adoption stories, there are several myths about the adoption of girls versus boys:

Myth: Is it easier to adopt a girl verses a boy.

Fact: In fact, it is the opposite. The wait time is most always longer to adopt a girl.

Myth: Adoptive parents think boys will get in more trouble than girls.

Fact: As you probably know by now, girls can get in just as much trouble as boys! The success lies in the parenting abilities of the parents!

Myth: There are more girls available for adoption than boys.

Fact: No, there are more boys available for adoption than girls in all countries except China. The prevalence of Chinese girls adopted by Americans has given the false impression that girls are unwanted but China is a patriarchal society and this is why girls are available for adoption there.

Okay, so I’m going to throw this out there to this outspoken adoption population about the differences in gender: Do more families want to adopt a toddler daughter because the girls may be less aggressive, with fewer emotional issues? The gender differences may not matter so much with babies, right?

I do know one horrid story in Orange County, Calif. (that I have verified) where a Romanian son (7) was finally adopted and went on to sexually assault his new little sister who was a biological daughter to the family. (Young rapist was sent back to Romania, FYI…)

Be brutally honest: Is this why we prefer to adopt females? Let’s explore the honest conversation without allowing emotions to run wild! Can we do that?

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff

Same Sex Couples Face Big Adoption Hurdles

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

A lawsuit filed in federal court in Michigan two weeks ago could change the way state laws consider same-sex couples with adopted children, CNN affiliate WXYZ reported.

Current law allows only one parent to adopt kids, but if something happens to that parent, the other partner has no parental rights. That means the parents cannot sign for their own children’s medical treatment, and the kids don’t have the same inheritance rights or rights to social security disability or health insurance.

April Deboer and Jayne Rowse have raised three children since birth, but state laws allows only one of them to be each child’s legal parent. “Michigan has some of the worst laws in the country for gay and lesbian parents,” says attorney Carole Stanyar, who represents them.

One of the women adopted one child – while the other woman had to adopt the other two – that’s because the law in Michigan won’t let them jointly adopt all three kids. And they’re hoping this lawsuit will change the lives of children all over Michigan.

Deboer and Rowse have dedicated their lives to raising three small children – two of whom have special needs. Deboer and Rowse are both nurses – and they have been in a committed relationship for more than a decade.

“When we were foster parents, we had more rights to our children than we do now as adoptive parents,” says Rowse. “We each had the legal say-so in what happened to our foster son.  And now that he’s adopted, she’s like an invisible person to him in the eyes of the law.”

Stanyar and attorney Dana Nessel are filing a lawsuit in Federal Court against Governor Rick Snyder and Attorney General Bill Schuette,  challenging Michigan’s Adoption Code, which allows only married couples or single people to adopt.

Lawyers say the children of same-sex couples also don’t have the same inheritance rights that other kids do. They also can’t receive social security disability from the non-adoptive parent, or health insurance.  Also if a same-sex couple separates, they have no legal ability to see the children that they didn’t adopt.

Nessel says if this civil rights suit changes the law, approximately 10,000 children in same-sex homes in Michigan will be impacted.  She says hundreds of other same-sex couples will start giving permanent homes to foster children.

“They want to take children who have no homes, who have no parents and give them a real family,” says Nessel. “And they’re afraid to do it, because they don’t want to be faced with the decision of who gets to be the legal parent of the child. So they simply don’t do it or they leave the state.”

“We want to protect our children,” says Deboer.

What do you think of same-sex couples adopting? I am 100% in support of this!

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff