Posts Tagged ‘ gender differences ’

Happy Labor Day Wishes for all Adopted Kids

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

Moms and dads endure plenty of stress between work, keeping up with the family obligations, not to mention the anxiety of adoption, filling out all those forms, the huge financial burden, and then also the simple waiting and waiting for your beloved child who is growing older in a home or orphanage somewhere. You cannot kiss them good night or hold them when they get a cut or scrape.

Waiting to just make an adoption decision (domestic versus international, for instance) gets nerve-wracking. Take it from me.

Could this tumultuous waiting/hoping and false starting be bad for your health?

New research says, “Yes.” Mental stress can be more damaging to a woman’s heart than her male counterpart. But local cardiologists say learning how to cope will ensure mom is around to celebrate many more mother’s days to come.

Studies show coping with mental pressures and anxiety may be more taxing on the heart health of women.

The study, presented at a recent annual Experimental Biology meeting, showed men and women given the same stressful math problem all had an increase in blood pressure and heart rate while solving it. Normally, when heart rate and blood pressure rise, blood flow to the heart muscle increases so it can compensate. However, findings showed while the mens’ heart increased blood flow, the womens’ heart did not.

With many mothers overextending themselves, local cardiologists say stress management is a key factor in maintaining a healthy heart. “Stress reduction is important for everyone. This study suggests women especially need to monitor their stress to avoid heart problems. And, women who have heart-related symptoms while under stress, need to tell their doctor right away,” says Jeffrey Rothfeld M.D., F.A.C.C., a cardiologist at Bradenton Cardiology Center.

Studies of heart attack patients found that 15 to 30 percent of those admitted to a medical center had suffered from severe emotional stress. Below are some common triggers that can affect mothers at all stages of adoption and child-rearing:

As we celebrate a long weekend with our families, take the time to de-stress and take a day off of worrying about your adoption journey.

My family and I decided to take the summer off and re-think our adoption journey, because our finances are so tight we really cannot afford to adopt internationally any longer. We are in the middle of a long road to international and money has officially begun to run out.

As you enter or move through the world of adoption do you get totally stressed out like me? Tell me about it in Comments below.

 

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National Outrage for “3 Adopted Kids Abused by New Father”

Friday, August 31st, 2012

When we first aired this Ohio horror story about a foster dad who adopted three young kids and began prostituting them to his friends. To that end, I want to reprint two smart messages and Comments you left for me:

Reader Jess says, “By no means am I defending this man or the other two involved with this sick act on these children. But the three men involved are not the only issue here. Why isn’t anyone holding the private adoption agency accountable. Where was the triple background check that should have been done? And why wasn’t there any mention of social workers doing home visits and followups?

Yes, I agree these men should be justly dealt with. But, as you know, our justice system isn’t the best thing going. It is well noted that there are a lot of the justice  system and government system that are behind our nation’s biggest problem of human trafficking. We live in a country that has become so relaxed on the issues that should be our biggest concerns and yet those issues that should be our least on the ones that our most looked at.”

And reader JL commented, “This story is very sad but what I didn’t see was the obvious factor — deception. Foster parents are interviewed extensively and, in Illinois anyway, require references, a physical exam, and criminal background checks. The fact of the matter is, a predator can and will hide. Look at Sandusky.

We are talking about a type of person who has leaned through years and years how to play people and say what is needed to get hat
he wants. There are very few warning signs for these types of people.

Mostly because the only people aware of these issues are the victims or, in this case, people who are also participating in the illegal act. In Illinois, foster care and adoption workers are required to visit licensed homes at least once a month. They are required to talk to the children alone as well. There will always be bad apples in every bunch. Sad but true.

The only thing that we should focus on and can focus on is what can we do to help. What canwe change in the system to make it more stringent? All issues we as a child welfare system struggle to balance every day.”

Thanks for everyone for reading and taking notice of these topics to help adopted kids:

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Siblings Adopted Separately Finally Find Each Other

Monday, August 6th, 2012

A cheerful bus driver from Otswego, Ill. found his long-lost sister this year in a local feel-good story originally reported in the Chicago Sun Times.

Illinois passed a law in November 2011 that allowed those adopted after January 1, 1946, to apply for their birth certificates without consent from birth parents. (The previous year, a law was passed applying to those born before that deadline.)

Since the new law took effect, more than 6,600 Illinois-born adult adoptees have requested a copy of their original birth certificate, according to the Illinois Department of Public Health. Less than 1 percent of birth parents have requested anonymity, which is great news and illustrates the new openess around domestic adoption.

The driver Rick Stadel said his beloved adoptive parents told him he had a sister named Jacqueline. For 20 years, Rick and two half-brothers have been steadily trying to locate her.

The family did a search a few months ago on Ancestory.com, who located the missing Jacqueline. Her name, which had been changed to Lois when she was adopted a s a baby, popped up because she too had registered immediately when the new law went into effect last November.

The back-story is five siblings were born in Mother Cabrini Hospital in Chicago. Catherine, who died at age 61, kept and raised Carmen and Angelo and was married to each of their dads. Lois, Rick and Kathy were eventually placed for adoption.

Rick Stadel and Kathy Brooks — his new sister from Washington State –  both see the resemblance.

Isn’t this a great story?

Do you also have positive adoption news for me? Tell me in Comments below.

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My Gay Friends Want to Adopt, Too

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Adoption is hard enough on prospective parents, but if you are gay, I’d say it’s triple tough and in many places across the world, you cannot openly adopt if you’re gay and living with your openly gay spouse. To me, that’s sounds old-fashioned and slightly barbaric to me.

I mean… People who do not believe in same-sex parents who should be legally able to adopt are simply religious zealots, are they not? I mean, why wouldn’t you want two healthy grownups not to adopt a poor, homeless kid?

My gay friends have a much more difficult time even slogging through the endless paperwork (we’re all in our forties) and successful, in long-term relationships. And our gay friend-couples can certainly afford an international adoption (better than my family) that tops off at $35,000 – $50,000.

In the past, and perhaps in some areas of the country still today, gay couples have lied in order to adopt. Usually with one partner adopting and the other pretending to be a roommate or a friend. But it is necessary to realize the importance of honesty when adopting. It is legal to omit information, it is not legal to lie when asked a specific question. But lying in this instance is considered fraud and may be cause an adoption to be aborted, so to speak.

It’s more common for one partner to adopt and then for the second to apply as the second parent, or co-parent. Second parent adoptions creates a second legally recognized parent.

According to stats I found from The Williams Institute at UCLA Law School, this is the only way for gay couples to both become legal parents of their children. Second parent adoptions have been granted by the courts in twenty-one states.

On CBS News the other night, I gleefully watched Republican candidate Mitt Romney back-pedal from his original support of gay adoption last year. Now that conservatives are on his tail about his religious conservatism, Romney told the anchor how his “opposition to same-sex marriage ‘squared’ with his support for gay adoptions.”

How do you figure, Mitt?

Romney said, “… I think all states but one allow gay adoption, so that’s a position which has been decided by most of the state legislators, including the one in my state some time ago. So I simply acknowledge the fact that gay adoption is legal in all states but one.”

The Williams Institute, which analyzed the Census Bureau, showed that only 8,310 adopted children were living with same-sex couples in 2000, but the number grew to about 32,571 in 2009. The study suggests that almost half of gay families had adopted children from foster care. Amazing.

Are you for or against same-sex couples openly adopting children in need? Tell me in Comments below.

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Abused? Jerry Sandusky’s Second Adopted Son

Friday, July 13th, 2012

Well, of course he was. Psychotic pedophile Jerry Sandusky has a “type” of boy he seems to prefer to rape, molest and devour, including his adopted sons who were tormented from about the time they were 8 years old. (That seems to be the old perv’s sweet spot.)

I just watched Matt Sandusky in his testimony, he actually seems kind of envious when he aged out of Jerry Sandusky’s clutches. He didn’t know any better but all these little boys loved Jerry Sandusky and he betrayed them all in the worst way possible.

Matt 33, was adopted by Jerry and Dottie Sandusky as an adult, after going to live with the family as a foster child. He was prepared to testify at Jerry Sandusky’s trial about years of abuse. [Old photograph of Matt Sandusky, Photo Right]

During testimony at trial, Victim 4 told jurors that one time Jerry Sandusky began touching him during a shower, Matt Sandusky was present, but left the shower when the assault began.

And then there’s foster son #2. Didn’t know about him — did you?

EJ Sandusky, also adopted, is no longer an assistant football coach at West Chester University, near Philadelphia. He has 19 years of experience as a college coach. He graduated from Penn State in 1992 and played football.

EJ has not spoken publicly about Jerry Sandusky’s arrest or conviction, but he’s left his post at the University.

Jerry Sandusky, the 68-year-old retired defensive coach for Penn State, was found guilty of 45 counts of sexually abusing 10 boys over a period of 15 years on June 23. The charges filed last month carry a minimum 60-year sentence and 442 years maximum. [Jerry Sandusky, Photo Right.]

“Our most saddening and sobering finding is the total disregard for the safety and welfare of Sandusky’s child victims,” said Louis J. Freeh, the former federal judge and director of the F.B.I. who oversaw the investigation.

“The most powerful men at Penn State failed to take any steps for 14 years to protect the children who Sandusky victimized.”

How many more lives can this one evil man, Jerry Sandusky, ruin? His legacy of brutality and devastation will live on long after that dirty old man does. He’s a physically big guy and he purposely chooses these sweet, defenseless little victims who loved and depended on him.

Do you have anything to add about fostering teenagers, adoption or Jerry Sandusky? I hate his guts.

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