Posts Tagged ‘ adoption over 35 ’

Waiting for Your Adopted Child is Very Stressful

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Certainly, stress reduction is important for everyone, but a new study  suggests women especially need to monitor their stress to avoid heart problems. “Women who have heart-related symptoms while under stress, need to tell their doctor right away,” said Jeffrey Rothfeld M.D., a cardiologist at Bradenton Cardiology Center.

When you mix older parents who adopt with the ever-increasing risk of heart disease, studies of heart attack patients found that 15 to 30 percent of those admitted to a medical center had suffered from severe emotional stress. “High levels of stress make other risk factors such as high cholesterol or high blood pressure worse,” Dr. Rothfeld said.

Being able to identify stressors in life and releasing the tension they cause is critical in learning to cope with everyday pressure, as well as significant traumatic life events. Below are some common triggers that can affect mothers at all stages of life.

•    Illness, either personal or of a family member or friend
•    Death of a friend or loved one
•    Problems in a personal relationship
•    Work overload
•    Unemployment
•    Pregnancy and/or infertility
•    Financial concerns

“Identifying and addressing issues is the best way to reduce the release of stress hormones, like adrenalin, into the bloodstream that increase the likelihood of both heart attack and sudden cardiac arrest,” Dr. Rothfeld said. Some common techniques for coping with stress while you wait for your child to come home:

•    Eat and drink sensibly - Abusing alcohol and food may seem to reduce stress, but it actually adds to it.
•    Stop smoking - Aside from the obvious health risks of cigarettes, nicotine acts as a stimulant and brings on more stress symptoms.
•    Exercise regularly - Choose non-competitive activities and set reasonable goals. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins (natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude).
•    Relax every day – Choose from a variety of different techniques, such as meditation, to unwind.
•    Get enough rest – Even with proper diet and exercise, you can’t fight stress effectively without rest. You need time to recover so the time you spend asleep should be long enough to relax your mind as well as your body.

We can all help ourselves by recognizing what stresses us out and establishing coping strategies to help control how we respond to these situations, he said. Amen.

Tell me all about your non-stressful adoption story here!

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Actress Katherine Heigl and Husband Adopt Daughter # 2

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

Is it always easier the second time around?

Adopting your first child is always the most frustrating, enthralling, surprising and emotional experience of most parents lives. Adoptive number two is only less so by a smidge, but most adoption experts tell me over and over again: Once you do it right the first time, the second time is a charm and much easier. You have already proven yourself a respectable and worthwhile parent; you can afford adoption and you did a great job the first time. You are probably safe to do it all over again, from an agency’s perspective.

But is it like getting tattoos? Once you get one for good, are you always temped to get more? Well, just ask actress Katherine Heigl and her hot musician husband Josh Kelley who first adopted a special needs daughter a couple years back. Like many internationally adopted kids, their first adopted daughter Naleigh was adopted from South Korea in 2009. The adoption world went wild because the tyke was considered a special needs child, which she outgrew once she had proper medical care and a full-time mom and dad (with $$$) who could supply her with all the love, devotion and medical care they could afford.

Back then, Heigl said, ““I don’t think it’s for everybody, and I don’t think everybody should adopt,” she added. “I’m not some crazy idealist. It’s not about the cause for me. But I do think no one should ever rule it out.”

Do celebrities get special attention and special rights when they adopt children — either internationally or nationally?

No other details about the latest adoption were available except the new daughter’s name is Adalaide Marie Hope … probably because the pretty couple caught so much attention for adopting their special needs daughter the first time around. Heigl opened up about her personal connection to adoption. 

”We started talking about adoption even before we were engaged because it’s really important to me,” Heigl said. “It’s been a big part of my life and my family. My sister is Korean and my parents adopted her back in the seventies, and so I just always knew that this is something I always wanted to do.”

Bravo to the new parents all over again.

Are you on your first or second adoption? Tell me here!

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Jillian Michaels and Partner Adopt Daughter from Haiti

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

This beautiful daughter bonding photograph of NBC’s former Biggest Loser top trainer Jillian Michaels spotted running mommy errands with newly adopted daughter, Lukensia, at a farmer’s market in Malibu this weekend. We were right down the street. And pretty envious.

It’s certainly been a busy month for the former star and her younger girlfriend Heidi Rhoades who also also gave birth to a son, Phoenix, on May 3 here in Los Angeles. I’m nearly positive Jillian adopted Lu as a single mom because Haiti is very conservative about who adopts from their country. They do not allow gay people to adopt at this time.

In fact, my husband and I looked into adopting from Haiti two years ago, we even started the paperwork on adopting internationally from Haiti, and immediately ran into trouble. We could not adopt from Haiti for three huge reasons, and yet Jillian Michaels can adopt as a lesbian.

  1. We were too old.
  2. My husband has a chronic health condition they could not overlook.
  3. We’re not half as rich as Jillian Michaels.
  4. We could not prove our church affiliation!

Really, that last one is ludicrous — at least to me. Haiti and the adoption agencies that work in Haiti are very Catholic organizations, and needed proof and comments about our fitness for parenthood from our very own church affiliation.

Needless to say, my Jewish husband and I (zero church affiliations) stopped the paperwork, and we began to examine and re-think adopting from another country with less restrictions, more specifically India. We’re progressing into an international adoption with an Indian daughter.

Jillian Michaels has said she waited two years for her daughter Lu, and we’ve been waiting a lot longer than that. I wonder… if we had big cash $$$ like Jillian Michaels, would our adoption wait be cut in half?

Tell me your adoption story here, and many happy wishes to Lu, Jillian Michaels and their new  insta-family. Thank goodness for Lu, and one less hungry orphan in Haiti.

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Actress Charlize Theron Adopts a Son, Jackson

Monday, May 28th, 2012

Would you adopt a child on your own if you were in your mid-thirties, single, very rich plus had your own amazing mom nearby? Actress Charlize Theron has opened up about life with adopted 6-month old son Jackson. And she said, “I feel like I can’t remember anything prior to him.”

The Oscar-winning “Monster” star became a first-time mom in March, and she chose Mother’s Day month to open up about life as a new parent.

The 36-year-old blond beauty adopted chocolate-skinned son, Jackson back in March but only recently unveiled him. Before his airport appearance, Charlize kept Jackson hidden under a blanket while she toted him around in his baby carrier. The fierce mother has reportedly stated that her African-American son was born in the USA.

Theron has been open in the past about her hopes to one day have a child.

“I always knew that I didn’t want to get married. I’ve always known that I’d be a mom from the time I was a little girl,” she told W magazine.

This is the first child for the South African-born actress, 36, who split from beau Stuart Townsend in 2010 after nine years together. We think that  giant breakup prompted a whole new chapter in her life. She told the December  issue of Vogue, “This is the first time [being single] in my life. I’ve been in relationships since I was 19 years old.”

Would you be up to adopting as a solo mom if you could afford it, just as Theron can?

Snow White and the Huntsman” hits theaters June 1. That’s one lucky little boy, no? Tell me your adoption story here.

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Mother’s Day Gifts: Over-40 Mom Adopts from Thailand

Monday, May 14th, 2012

Mom blogger and London-based writer Carole Turner-Record told me how she adopted from Thailand when she was 41 years old. At the time of the adoption, Carole already had one biological son, who was 14.

She said, “Emma was already 21 months when the international adoption became final, and my son was 14. Because Brian was so much older there was no sibling rivalry ever; they adored each other from the beginning.”

There was so little written emotionally and honestly about the process back then, that Carole wrote a book about her adoption experience (McBooks Press 1999). Available on Amazon, her case study of different adoptions back them read like a detective novel.  Carole said, “These stories are interviews with real people who chose adoption and they are still completely relevant today.  The only difference is that cell phones were not around and people had to stay at home to wait for phone calls  — this added a certain amount more tension to the process.”

Carole said, “I wrote the book because I have a biological son and an adopted daughter and I wanted people to understand that you love them equally.  I also wanted people to witness the journeys taken by parents who created their families through adoption. The biggest challenge was the snail pace of Thai bureaucracy during those years.

We chose to adopt from Thailand because we became friendly with a business colleague of my husband’s who had adopted twin girls from Thailand.  We were in a second marriage and hadn’t planned to have a child together, but fell under the spell of those twin girls!

The best part of adoption was realizing that I loved both of my children absolutely equal. Today, I  am just as proud of Emma’s accomplishments as I am of Brian’s. That was the main reason why I decided to write my book, and why I blog about adoption still. I wanted potential adoptive parents to know that you could love an adopted child just the same as you could love a birth child.  I think that message comes across  loud and clear.”

Thanks for reading The Adoption Diaries on Parents.com, and offering up your story. Tell me all about your story right here in Comments!

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