Archive for the ‘
The Adoption Diaries ’ Category
Friday, August 31st, 2012
When we first aired this Ohio horror story about a foster dad who adopted three young kids and began prostituting them to his friends. To that end, I want to reprint two smart messages and Comments you left for me:
Reader Jess says, “By no means am I defending this man or the other two involved with this sick act on these children. But the three men involved are not the only issue here. Why isn’t anyone holding the private adoption agency accountable. Where was the triple background check that should have been done? And why wasn’t there any mention of social workers doing home visits and followups?
Yes, I agree these men should be justly dealt with. But, as you know, our justice system isn’t the best thing going. It is well noted that there are a lot of the justice system and government system that are behind our nation’s biggest problem of human trafficking. We live in a country that has become so relaxed on the issues that should be our biggest concerns and yet those issues that should be our least on the ones that our most looked at.”
And reader JL commented, “This story is very sad but what I didn’t see was the obvious factor — deception. Foster parents are interviewed extensively and, in Illinois anyway, require references, a physical exam, and criminal background checks. The fact of the matter is, a predator can and will hide. Look at Sandusky.
We are talking about a type of person who has leaned through years and years how to play people and say what is needed to get hat
he wants. There are very few warning signs for these types of people.
Mostly because the only people aware of these issues are the victims or, in this case, people who are also participating in the illegal act. In Illinois, foster care and adoption workers are required to visit licensed homes at least once a month. They are required to talk to the children alone as well. There will always be bad apples in every bunch. Sad but true.
The only thing that we should focus on and can focus on is what can we do to help. What canwe change in the system to make it more stringent? All issues we as a child welfare system struggle to balance every day.”
Thanks for everyone for reading and taking notice of these topics to help adopted kids:
Friday, August 24th, 2012
With so many unloved orphans in the world, born during times of great war and poverty, why would our government forbid gay couples, or “same sex couples” from adopting an unwanted child?
In France, a more forward-thinking country — you must admit, in this case — the new Socialist government would likely legalize marriage and adoption for same-sex couples, Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault said back in July.
President Francois Hollande, who took office months ago, pledged to legalize gay marriage and adoption during his election campaign but had given no time frame. Since Hollande’s Socialists won an absolute majority in parliamentary elections two weeks ago, the conservative party, which opposed the measure under former president Nicolas Sarkozy, can do nothing to stop it.
“The government has made it an objective for the next few months to work on implementing its campaign commitments on the fight against discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity,” Ayrault’s office said in a statement.
In addition, the government would discuss strategies for making life easier for transgender people. This is very forward-thinking — to me — from France, a country that describes itself as “two-thirds Roman Catholic.
As recently as 2006, a survey indicated that most French were opposed to changing the definition of marriage, but now more than 60 percent support the idea. A majority also favors allowing gay couples to adopt children.
(Independent French thinker Hollande, by the way, fathered four children out of wedlock with his former partner.) No judgements on fatherhood but…
Do you think gay couples should be allowed to legally adopt a child? Tell me your adoption opinion here.
Friday, August 17th, 2012
When I first discovered this horror house in Ohio and originally reported the abuse of three young kids who not only had been raped by their adopted foster dad, but he prostituted his new kids out and a few of his depraved adult male friends also raped and abused the two young boys and a sister, all under 13.
This is one of those strange and awful true stories that takes on a life of its own, and I received so many comments back from all of the readers of The Adoption Diaries. Below, I offer you two of the most thought-provoking responses to the idea that this foster home was not investigated properly to safeguard these three innocent and wounded children.
This letter from Jeff who was also horrified — like me — that the three kids were living in his house of horror long enough to be adopted. (All three are in new foster homes FYI, and all three rapists will go to jail for a long, long time).
Jeff said, “By no means am I defending this man or the other two involved with this sickness… But the three men involved are not the only issue here. Why isn’t anyone holding the private adoption agency accountable? Where were all the background check that should have been done repeatedly? And why wasn’t there any mention of social workers doing home visits? Yes, I agree these men should be justly dealt with. But, as you know, our justice system isn’t the best thing going. We live in a country that has become so relaxed on the issues that should be our biggest concerns and yet those issues that should be our least on the ones that our most looked at.”
And from reader Jamie who’s been in the foster care system in the USA: “This story is very sad but what I didn’t see was the obvious factor, deception. Foster parents are interviewed extensively and, in Illinois anyway, require references, a physical exam, and criminal background checks. The fact of the matter is, a predator can and will hide. Like Sandusky, we are talking about a type of person who has learned for years and years how to play people and say what is needed to get what he wants. There are very few warning signs for these types of people.”
Jamie from Illinois continued, “In Illinois, foster care and adoption workers are required to visit licensed homes at least once a month. They are required to talk to the children alone as well. The only thing that we should focus on and can focus on is what can we do to help. What can we change in the system to make it more stringent?”
Thanks readers, what else can we do to help child abuse in the foster system?
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012
Adoption relations began to fray long before the headline-grabbing news in 2010 about a young American mother who was so terrified and traumatized her newly adopted Russian child, that she sent the pale 7-year-old back to Russia on a plane on a one-way ticket with a short note pinned to his coat!
So shame on Tory Hansen for returning the kid so gracelessly but two years later she is still in legal wranglings about it. The boy’s new Russian foster home (who said he was traumatized by his adoptive mother and the failed adoption) may be entitled to financial payments from this poor mother who got shafted out of an adopted child and then still has to pay for him.
You can tell I’m torn on the subject.
In my humble opinion, Russian adoption agencies may have overlooked some very neurotic or dangerous behavior because they wanted to find the boy a home so badly. But the adoptive mother claims in court papers that the wayward child she was handed had no business being adopted, she was unprepared to handle a child with deep psychological scars. The mom was afraid for her own life at night; he was creepy.
According to one Russian children study, over 100,000 Russian children have been adopted by US parents. At least 19 of them were killed by their new families within past decade, and some adoption charities put the number who died of illness or accidents at 40.
“We realize this agreement is not ideal, but it gives more grounds and starting points for cooperation with our US partners to avoid recurrence of a series of tragic events related to adopted children from Russia,” Deputy Foreign Minister Sergey Ryabkov said. The agreement was signed by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov on July, 13, 2011.
Tell me your adoption story here in Comments below:
Friday, July 20th, 2012
LA County’s child protective services can be scary from the outside looking in. My family is worried about adopting from local foster care and inheriting a sick child with issues we don’t want to handle. That’s the truth.
When you’ve been through foster resource family orientation and filed paperwork to be a foster parent or a foster-to-adopt family, you must take 24 hours (four consecutive Tuesdays for six hours each) of lessons, seminars and what if situations.
In these 6-hour sessions, you play-act with your mate (if you have one) so you’re better prepared for a foster toddler who may have seen some sad situations, or been neglected or abused.
At the beginning of summer, we postponed the mandatory 24 hours of foster family training because our schedules were so busy but also because of stories like these:
According to the LA Times, a 5-year-old boy, known as Johnny, was rescued from a San Bernardino home in 2009, burned with a glue gun and hot spoons. He had been starved and sodomized, punched and forced to crouch motionless.
Foster parents Martin Roland Morales, 35, and Juan Carlos Santos-Herrera, 22, were found guilty of torture, child abuse and sodomizing a child less than 10 years of age. Another adult, Crystal Rodriguez, 35, was convicted of child endangerment after failing to protect another young victim, according to reports.
Child welfare officials in Los Angeles County determined the allegations that he had been abused were unfounded and the officials determined that the “child [was] not at risk.”
An internal review concluded that the finding was wrong. Johnny, now 8, lives in an adoptive home and is academically gifted.
All across American, little lids are abused in the foster care system and beyond. I don’t think I can personally handle scary emotionally abused child who could light my house on fire. Poison my dogs. You know?
What are my odds? Does this sound terrible?
Tell me your adoption story in Comments below.