Archive for the ‘ For Dads ’ Category

My Gay Friends Want to Adopt, Too

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Adoption is hard enough on prospective parents, but if you are gay, I’d say it’s triple tough and in many places across the world, you cannot openly adopt if you’re gay and living with your openly gay spouse. To me, that’s sounds old-fashioned and slightly barbaric to me.

I mean… People who do not believe in same-sex parents who should be legally able to adopt are simply religious zealots, are they not? I mean, why wouldn’t you want two healthy grownups not to adopt a poor, homeless kid?

My gay friends have a much more difficult time even slogging through the endless paperwork (we’re all in our forties) and successful, in long-term relationships. And our gay friend-couples can certainly afford an international adoption (better than my family) that tops off at $35,000 – $50,000.

In the past, and perhaps in some areas of the country still today, gay couples have lied in order to adopt. Usually with one partner adopting and the other pretending to be a roommate or a friend. But it is necessary to realize the importance of honesty when adopting. It is legal to omit information, it is not legal to lie when asked a specific question. But lying in this instance is considered fraud and may be cause an adoption to be aborted, so to speak.

It’s more common for one partner to adopt and then for the second to apply as the second parent, or co-parent. Second parent adoptions creates a second legally recognized parent.

According to stats I found from The Williams Institute at UCLA Law School, this is the only way for gay couples to both become legal parents of their children. Second parent adoptions have been granted by the courts in twenty-one states.

On CBS News the other night, I gleefully watched Republican candidate Mitt Romney back-pedal from his original support of gay adoption last year. Now that conservatives are on his tail about his religious conservatism, Romney told the anchor how his “opposition to same-sex marriage ‘squared’ with his support for gay adoptions.”

How do you figure, Mitt?

Romney said, “… I think all states but one allow gay adoption, so that’s a position which has been decided by most of the state legislators, including the one in my state some time ago. So I simply acknowledge the fact that gay adoption is legal in all states but one.”

The Williams Institute, which analyzed the Census Bureau, showed that only 8,310 adopted children were living with same-sex couples in 2000, but the number grew to about 32,571 in 2009. The study suggests that almost half of gay families had adopted children from foster care. Amazing.

Are you for or against same-sex couples openly adopting children in need? Tell me in Comments below.

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Abused? Jerry Sandusky’s Second Adopted Son

Friday, July 13th, 2012

Well, of course he was. Psychotic pedophile Jerry Sandusky has a “type” of boy he seems to prefer to rape, molest and devour, including his adopted sons who were tormented from about the time they were 8 years old. (That seems to be the old perv’s sweet spot.)

I just watched Matt Sandusky in his testimony, he actually seems kind of envious when he aged out of Jerry Sandusky’s clutches. He didn’t know any better but all these little boys loved Jerry Sandusky and he betrayed them all in the worst way possible.

Matt 33, was adopted by Jerry and Dottie Sandusky as an adult, after going to live with the family as a foster child. He was prepared to testify at Jerry Sandusky’s trial about years of abuse. [Old photograph of Matt Sandusky, Photo Right]

During testimony at trial, Victim 4 told jurors that one time Jerry Sandusky began touching him during a shower, Matt Sandusky was present, but left the shower when the assault began.

And then there’s foster son #2. Didn’t know about him — did you?

EJ Sandusky, also adopted, is no longer an assistant football coach at West Chester University, near Philadelphia. He has 19 years of experience as a college coach. He graduated from Penn State in 1992 and played football.

EJ has not spoken publicly about Jerry Sandusky’s arrest or conviction, but he’s left his post at the University.

Jerry Sandusky, the 68-year-old retired defensive coach for Penn State, was found guilty of 45 counts of sexually abusing 10 boys over a period of 15 years on June 23. The charges filed last month carry a minimum 60-year sentence and 442 years maximum. [Jerry Sandusky, Photo Right.]

“Our most saddening and sobering finding is the total disregard for the safety and welfare of Sandusky’s child victims,” said Louis J. Freeh, the former federal judge and director of the F.B.I. who oversaw the investigation.

“The most powerful men at Penn State failed to take any steps for 14 years to protect the children who Sandusky victimized.”

How many more lives can this one evil man, Jerry Sandusky, ruin? His legacy of brutality and devastation will live on long after that dirty old man does. He’s a physically big guy and he purposely chooses these sweet, defenseless little victims who loved and depended on him.

Do you have anything to add about fostering teenagers, adoption or Jerry Sandusky? I hate his guts.

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Military Families Celebrate July 4th with Adoption

Friday, July 6th, 2012

Congratulations to air force family Travis and Jenn, who adopted their beautiful son Isaac this year [photograph of Travis holding Isaac at right] after the dynamic and deserving couple persevered through eight miscarriages. 

Jenn’s career air force husband Travis was transferred south to an army base in southwest Missouri, and they started life anew. Doctors discovered Jenn suffers from a clotting disorder as she miscarried once again in Missouri. Jenn herself was adopted, and her little brother too.

Today we salute all the military parents who have to be away from their loved ones, their children, to fight for our country and preserve our freedoms for generations to come.

Thanks for Jenn and Travis for sharing these photos of their new son, Isaac.

Happy July 4th to troops everywhere who protect and rescue children from horrible, heartrending circumstances all over the globe. As our family continues on the quest to internationally adopt an orphan from a poverty-stricken or war-torn country, I thank our troops for helping to stabilize and protect mothers and children in countries like the Sudan, Ethiopia and Somali.

Happy July 4th to all. Tell me your adoption story in Comments below.

Photo credit: Military father Travis with newly adopted son, Isaac

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Happy Father’s Day: Military Dad Adopts New Son

Friday, June 15th, 2012

Part 2: On Wednesday, I introduced you to reader Jenn, a spirited and dynamic mom who suffered eight miscarriages before she and husband Travis adopted son Isaac. Pictured at right, you’ll see a joyful Jenn, Travis and baby Isaac together at last.

Jenn’s career air force husband Travis, now 31, was then transferred south to a army base in southwest Missouri and they started life anew. Doctors discovered Jenn has a clotting disorder when she miscarried once again in Missouri.

Jenn said, “We had three more positive pregnancy tests. On the final one, in January 2010, my husband was in the kitchen getting ready for work while I took another pregnancy test. Years of mood swings and injectable fertility drugs, the monitoring appointments, the scheduled sex, rising betas, falling betas, and the pain of the miscarriages and procedures.

The Story of Isaac (the best Father’s Day gift of all)

On Wednesday, we tuned into Jenn’s amazing faith and fortitude and love for her military husband as they battled for a baby of their own.
Jenn herself is adopted, and so is her little brother. That is generations of healthy adoptions at work.

After eight miscarriages, a family of broken hearts and the physical abuse of  painful miscarriages, Jenn and Travis spoke with fertility experts and decided to stop trying. Jenn said, “He encouraged us to take time off, pursue adoption and get our joy back somehow. We spent months grieving the little things.”

After several months, the dynamic and upbeat couple began researching adoption agencies. Jenn said, “I’m so grateful that my husband was willing to pursue adoption with me. I know several couples who have done fertility treatments, only to find out their husbands will not adopt.”

“Many people struggle to find peace living childless.”

We decided that we wanted a private, domestic adoption, and found an adoption program that was customized to that. We had a failed match a few months after we went active with our agency in December 2010, and were matched again with our son’s birth parents in mid-July 2011.

Isaac was born July 29, 2011.

The birth parents chose us in a private adoption largely based on our air force background. The birth father had served four years in the military and knew the large support system we would have. We are blessed.”

Tell me your story of adoption here. Jenn made my day — how about you? To all the great dads I know, happy Father’s Day.

 

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Waiting for Your Adopted Child is Very Stressful

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Certainly, stress reduction is important for everyone, but a new study  suggests women especially need to monitor their stress to avoid heart problems. “Women who have heart-related symptoms while under stress, need to tell their doctor right away,” said Jeffrey Rothfeld M.D., a cardiologist at Bradenton Cardiology Center.

When you mix older parents who adopt with the ever-increasing risk of heart disease, studies of heart attack patients found that 15 to 30 percent of those admitted to a medical center had suffered from severe emotional stress. “High levels of stress make other risk factors such as high cholesterol or high blood pressure worse,” Dr. Rothfeld said.

Being able to identify stressors in life and releasing the tension they cause is critical in learning to cope with everyday pressure, as well as significant traumatic life events. Below are some common triggers that can affect mothers at all stages of life.

•    Illness, either personal or of a family member or friend
•    Death of a friend or loved one
•    Problems in a personal relationship
•    Work overload
•    Unemployment
•    Pregnancy and/or infertility
•    Financial concerns

“Identifying and addressing issues is the best way to reduce the release of stress hormones, like adrenalin, into the bloodstream that increase the likelihood of both heart attack and sudden cardiac arrest,” Dr. Rothfeld said. Some common techniques for coping with stress while you wait for your child to come home:

•    Eat and drink sensibly - Abusing alcohol and food may seem to reduce stress, but it actually adds to it.
•    Stop smoking - Aside from the obvious health risks of cigarettes, nicotine acts as a stimulant and brings on more stress symptoms.
•    Exercise regularly - Choose non-competitive activities and set reasonable goals. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins (natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude).
•    Relax every day – Choose from a variety of different techniques, such as meditation, to unwind.
•    Get enough rest – Even with proper diet and exercise, you can’t fight stress effectively without rest. You need time to recover so the time you spend asleep should be long enough to relax your mind as well as your body.

We can all help ourselves by recognizing what stresses us out and establishing coping strategies to help control how we respond to these situations, he said. Amen.

Tell me all about your non-stressful adoption story here!

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