Archive for the ‘
Emotions Run Wild! ’ Category
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
Is it always easier the second time around?
Adopting your first child is always the most frustrating, enthralling, surprising and emotional experience of most parents lives. Adoptive number two is only less so by a smidge, but most adoption experts tell me over and over again: Once you do it right the first time, the second time is a charm and much easier. You have already proven yourself a respectable and worthwhile parent; you can afford adoption and you did a great job the first time. You are probably safe to do it all over again, from an agency’s perspective.
But is it like getting tattoos? Once you get one for good, are you always temped to get more? Well, just ask actress Katherine Heigl and her hot musician husband Josh Kelley who first adopted a special needs daughter a couple years back. Like many internationally adopted kids, their first adopted daughter Naleigh was adopted from South Korea in 2009. The adoption world went wild because the tyke was considered a special needs child, which she outgrew once she had proper medical care and a full-time mom and dad (with $$$) who could supply her with all the love, devotion and medical care they could afford.
Back then, Heigl said, ““I don’t think it’s for everybody, and I don’t think everybody should adopt,” she added. “I’m not some crazy idealist. It’s not about the cause for me. But I do think no one should ever rule it out.”
Do celebrities get special attention and special rights when they adopt children — either internationally or nationally?
No other details about the latest adoption were available except the new daughter’s name is Adalaide Marie Hope … probably because the pretty couple caught so much attention for adopting their special needs daughter the first time around. Heigl opened up about her personal connection to adoption.
”We started talking about adoption even before we were engaged because it’s really important to me,” Heigl said. “It’s been a big part of my life and my family. My sister is Korean and my parents adopted her back in the seventies, and so I just always knew that this is something I always wanted to do.”
Bravo to the new parents all over again.
Are you on your first or second adoption? Tell me here!
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Monday, May 28th, 2012
Would you adopt a child on your own if you were in your mid-thirties, single, very rich plus had your own amazing mom nearby? Actress Charlize Theron has opened up about life with adopted 6-month old son Jackson. And she said, “I feel like I can’t remember anything prior to him.”
The Oscar-winning “Monster” star became a first-time mom in March, and she chose Mother’s Day month to open up about life as a new parent.
The 36-year-old blond beauty adopted chocolate-skinned son, Jackson back in March but only recently unveiled him. Before his airport appearance, Charlize kept Jackson hidden under a blanket while she toted him around in his baby carrier. The fierce mother has reportedly stated that her African-American son was born in the USA.
Theron has been open in the past about her hopes to one day have a child.
“I always knew that I didn’t want to get married. I’ve always known that I’d be a mom from the time I was a little girl,” she told W magazine.
This is the first child for the South African-born actress, 36, who split from beau Stuart Townsend in 2010 after nine years together. We think that giant breakup prompted a whole new chapter in her life. She told the December issue of Vogue, “This is the first time [being single] in my life. I’ve been in relationships since I was 19 years old.”
Would you be up to adopting as a solo mom if you could afford it, just as Theron can?
Snow White and the Huntsman” hits theaters June 1. That’s one lucky little boy, no? Tell me your adoption story here.
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Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012
Reader Joanne inspires me with her adoption story of two kids and how her family fared through the ultimate roller-coaster of domestic adoption, but ended up with two county-sponsored adoptions via foster care that cost her family little to no financial investment. I don’t know about you, but not being able to afford adoption is the worst thing.
If innocent little kids can find worthy homes but don’t all because of money, something is incredibly wrong with our legal adoption system.
Joanne said, “I would love to keep hope alive since it was something my family had to do while waiting. We were living in California at the time and applied to the local county adoptions. We moved through all the classes you are now going through, and we were placed on a list to be matched.
While I had three grown sons from a previous marriage, my husband never had children and always wanted one. Since my bio clock was done for — we were both well over 40 at the time — we decided to try foster to adoption. Our home study was approved in May 2002 and we did get matched with a newborn on Christmas eve. The county had a program called concurrent planning where you are placed with an infant that is 95% sure will lead to an adoption.
It was unfortunate that during that emotional first placement, the birth mother changed her mind and after six glorious days, our potential new daughter was returned back to her birth mother.”
Joanne and her husband waited another four months or so after finishing classes, until March 200, to get the call about a safe surrender baby girl. All 50 states have some kind of safe surrender program where the birth mom can drop off an infant at any hospital or fire station and not be prosecuted for doing so.
Joanne’s daughter was delivered by the birth mother at a hospital where she left saying she did not want the baby. Joanne said, “We brought her home at 2 ½ months old and her adoption was finalized in September 2004 so it was a total of 20 months all together.”
In late May 2006 we were matched with yet another safe surrender baby girl. This little one was a home birth and the birth mother dropped her off at a hospital and left. She was only 2.5 pounds, and was in the hospital for months. We started visiting her daily, feeding and holding her until she was able to come home. Since being placed with us that July, we finalized her adoption in April 2007, only nine months later.”
Joanne’s family has moved to a different state and they are now in the process of getting a foster care license in their new state so we they can again help children who need a safe place. She said, “At this point, we are in our mid-fifties and very happy with our late-in-life adoptions and being able to help others. I hope that my life story will encourage others to keep their dream alive.
Keep up the great work, Nicole!” Tell me your adoption story here:
Thank you back, Joanne, the world needs more parents like you.
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Monday, April 16th, 2012
Vegetarianism is good for all people, the planet and animals all over the world. Yup, a little radical but I believe most of that is true, in large part. While Veganism means not eating any eggs or fish — and I do believe growing children need some healthy proteins — there are great takeaway lessons in this book.
“Vegan Is Love is a childrens’ book, but at its core, it’s about democracy, supply and demand, and engaging ourselves in the public realm,” said author-illustrator Ruby Roth. “Fast food companies don’t think your kids are too young to be marketed to, agribusiness uses the word ‘sustainable’ to talk about GMOs, and marine parks and zoos want kids to believe they are conservationists. If you don’t educate your children, someone else will.”
In Vegan Is Love (North Atlantic Books), Roth teaches a new generation of young readers about choices and the personal agency of people—big and small—in creating a more sustainable, peaceful, and compassionate world. Vegan Is Love is the first complete guide to the vegan philosophy and lifestyle for children. It addresses the daily opportunities children have to protect animals, the environment, and people around the world. From the clothes we wear, to the products we buy, to the food we eat and the entertainment we choose, Roth shows young readers the far-reaching ethical and environmental rewards of vegan choices. It includes a back-of-the-book list of actions and resources to empower kids to be the change they wish to see in the world.
Author Ruby Roth is a Los Angeles-based activist, artist, writer, and former teacher whose children’s books have received international attention for their sensitive yet frank advocacy of a vegan diet and lifestyle. She has degrees in art and American Studies, and for nearly a decade has researched and spoken publicly on animal agriculture, health, nutrition, and the benefits of a vegan diet. Her first book That’s Why We Don’t Eat Animals, published by North Atlantic Books, has been praised by celebrities, leading activists and parents, as well as attacked by the likes of agribusiness executives.
Join me next week when we explore domestic adoption versus international adoption!
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Friday, April 13th, 2012
If you tuned in on Wednesday, you met ballsy blogger Andrea Fox [at right] from Boston who began her adoption journey with the love of her life husband Bill. She wrote to us, “I didn’t meet the man I was supposed to marry until late in life. I consider myself quite a traditionalist, so I didn’t want to have children until I got married – to the right guy.
I found the right guy – Bill – when I was 41 and we got married exactly one year after we met. Having both come from large families, we wanted our children to be surrounded by siblings. Cognizant of our age, we realized that it might not be possible to achieve this biologically, so we planned on growing our family both biologically and through adoption,” Andrea told me.
When the couple visited fertility specialist, they were given a less than 1% chance of success, so they dove headfirst into international adoption instead! She said, “Two weeks after we got the news, I feverishly plunged right into adoption paperwork. We signed up with an international adoption agency, had our dossier completed in two months, and one month later we got the call that we had been matched.
We were ecstatic, yet on the way to the agency the following day, I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably, and didn’t stop for one week before realizing that I just wasn’t ready to adopt. With the help of the adoption agency, I found an adoption/infertility counselor who helped me to see that I hadn’t given myself a chance to grieve my infertility. After an agonizing decision-making process Bill and I decided to withdraw from our international adoption. Even though I was faced with yet another year or so of postponing motherhood, we all knew it was the right thing to do for everyone involved.
Bill and I gave ourselves several months to adjust to the fact that we would not become biological parents. We took mini-trips, had family gatherings and did some renovations on our house, all the while attending infertility counseling.
When we both felt ready to start adoption again, it took just five months from signing with a domestic adoption agency to getting the call that would change our lives forever. A birth mother and a baby were waiting for us to meet them seven states away. Cricket was born several weeks early and weighed a slight two pounds, three ounces. Her birth mother and I bonded instantly, talking effortless on the phone during the 15-hour drive. By the time we met in the lobby of the hospital we felt like we knew each other already,” Andrea told us.
On Sunday, March 9 2008 at 8:20 pm, Andrea held daughter “Cricket” for the first time.
Andrea said, “Cricket’s birth mother led us to her crib in the Neo-Natal Progressive Care Unit. She noticed that I was hesitant to pick her up, so she picked up Cricket, told me to sit down and placed her in my arms, taking the very first picture of us as a family. As I looked down into my daughter’s eyes, a myriad of emotions washed over me, none of which included regret at having waited so long to become a mom. The only thing that was important in my life was loving and protecting this beautiful, fragile, tiny child.”
Hurray, thanks for sharing your beautiful and inspiring of international adoption, mom blogger Andrea Fox. Read all about it on her site, and keep those stories coming to me!
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