Adopting is Too Expensive for Many Families

Reader Joanne inspires me with her adoption story of two kids and how her family fared through the ultimate roller-coaster of domestic adoption, but ended up with two county-sponsored adoptions via foster care that cost her family little to no financial investment. I don’t know about you, but not being able to afford adoption is the worst thing.

If innocent little kids can find worthy homes but don’t all because of money, something is incredibly wrong with our legal adoption system.

Joanne said, “I would love to keep hope alive since it was something my family had to do while waiting. We were living in California at the time and applied to the local county adoptions.  We moved through all the classes you are now going through, and we were placed on a list to be matched.

While I had three grown sons from a previous marriage, my husband never had children and always wanted one. Since my bio clock was done for — we were both well over 40 at the time — we decided to try foster to adoption. Our home study was approved in May 2002 and we did get matched with a newborn on Christmas eve. The county had a program called concurrent planning where  you are placed with an infant that is 95% sure will lead to an adoption.

It was unfortunate that during that emotional first placement, the birth mother changed her mind and after six glorious days, our potential new daughter was returned back to her birth mother.”

Joanne and her husband waited another four months or so after finishing classes,  until March 200, to get the call about a safe surrender baby girl. All 50 states have some kind of safe surrender program where the birth mom can drop off an infant at any hospital or fire station and not be prosecuted for doing so.

Joanne’s daughter was delivered by the birth mother at a hospital where she left saying she did not want the baby.  Joanne said, “We brought her home at 2 ½ months old and her adoption was finalized in September 2004 so it was a total of 20 months all together.”

In late May 2006 we  were matched with yet another safe surrender baby girl. This little one was a home birth and the birth mother dropped her off at a hospital and left. She was only 2.5 pounds, and was in the hospital for months. We started visiting her daily, feeding and holding her until she was able to come home. Since being placed with us that July, we finalized her adoption in April 2007,  only nine months later.”

Joanne’s family has moved to a different state and they are now in the process of getting a foster care license in their new state so we they can again  help children who need a safe place. She said, “At this point, we are in our mid-fifties and very happy with our late-in-life adoptions and being able to help others. I hope that my life story will encourage others to keep their dream alive.

Keep up the great work, Nicole!” Tell me your adoption story here:

Thank you back, Joanne, the world needs more parents like you. 

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff