Infertile Mom Adopts Baby Through Private, Open Adoption

Part 1: Valarie from South Carolina was so upset about my recent posts on the prevalence of sexual abuse in domestic foster care and adoption that she reached out with her two very different, more positive open adoption stories. Valarie said, “This is a very disturbing story.  I am a mom of two beautiful adopted children and a teacher, and it pains me to see children being abused and taken advantage of.

provate adoption Not all private agencies are bad, but someone dropped the ball in this tale of an adoptive father sexually abusing his kids. There is no punishment that this person can endure that will equal the pain that he inflicted on these children.”

Valarie and her husband turned to domestic adoption in 2006 when she had a tumor removed from her uterus “the size of a cantaloupe, which had damaged my uterus.” At that time, the family decided to work on the paperwork for adoption through a local attorney via private, open adoption.

Valarie said, “My surgery was in May, and  we were matched in August.  The first situation we were placed with did not seem right. The birth mother was hiding her pregnancy from family and she was over 21 years old. At that time she eventually communication with the paralegal working with our attorney, which seemed very fishy. She might have been changing her mind.  So the paralegal showed our family portfolio to another birth mother who was in the hospital.

This birth mother was in the hospital because her water broke early, and she was at risk of delivering extremely early. She chose us, and we met her, and quickly decided she was the one! Once our relationship blossomed, the first birth mother re-appeared all over again but my husband and I had already forged a connection to the second mom.”

That’s the joy of open adoption, folks, you get to meet each other and assess.

Valarie and her husband stuck with birth mom number 2 and were in the hospital room when she gave birth. Valarie said, “On August 25, 2006, she delivered a beautiful but premature 4-pound, 3-ounce baby boy. I remember her trying to say good-bye to her baby and finally telling me that he was all ours. I am grateful for the precious gift she has given us. Our son Mason (photographed above, nearly five years old) is the best boy ever. We love him to pieces.”

That’s why the problems in this family’s emotional second adoption were so surprising! Stay tuned on Friday for Part 2.

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