Part 2: Failed Private Adoptions Cannot Tear Family Apart

Part 1: Failed Private Adoptions Cannot Tear Family  Apart (continued)

Gary from Missouri  told us on Wednesday that just 12 days after his adopted son Justin was born, the birth mother changed her mind and he had to turn over the baby.

Gary said, “There was nothing we could do, short of breaking the law, to prevent her taking him from us.  It was arranged for her to come to our house the coming Saturday to get him.  That gave us two days to prepare. There could never have been enough time. Marie was so devastated she couldn’t bear to let her take him. I had to pick him up from his crib and hand him over. I walked them out to the car, and when I  realized she didn’t know how to place him in a car seat, I instructed her, kissed him and said goodbye.

During the next couple of years, we struggled with dealing with what had happened.  We continued attending adoption seminars and meetings, but our hearts were no longer in it.  We finally sought counseling, and ultimately reached the decision to remain a childless couple. We went on with our lives, no clue that our story was about to change forever.

On Gary’s 41st birthday, 15 years of trying to have a family later, Marie feeling quite right, but couldn’t really put her finger on it.  He said, “At 11:00 a.m., she called to tell me the doctor had run some tests and had found what was wrong.  After all these years, all this pain and loss,  Marie was pregnant!”

Another pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. And finally, Marie and Gary gave birth to a second son.

Today Gary said, “Regarding adoption, everyone should follow their own heart and make decisions that apply to them, not being bothered or influenced by the opinions of others.  Regarding life, just keep moving along, we can never know the reasons for the present, nor can we know what the future will bring. Thank you for taking the time to allow me to share.”

The message is “never give up hope.” Tell me about your adoption story today.

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