Part 1: Infertility, a Failed Adoption, Heartbreak

Sometimes there’s an adoption letter you’ll remember forever. This one is from Gary from Missouri who wrote to me last month:

“Your stories of adoption touch my heart in ways you may never imagine. It has taken me a long time to decide to share the story of my Wife and I, and I hope you can read it.”

Gary and wife Marie married in 1981 after falling in love in high School.  At 28 and 26, they began trying to get pregnant and after three years of trying, they sought medical help. Doctor visits led to more doctor visits, specialists were visited, all to no avail.

He wrote, “We tried every procedure available to us, a lot of which was based on financial constraints and insurance coverage. I gave her shots, she took fertility drugs, we tried sperm washing and placing, nothing worked.  Month after month, year after year, the same scenario.  Visit the specialist, perform the latest procedure, go home and wait for the results. The heartbreak month after month became almost too much to bear.

Ten years passed! We  made the decision to stop trying and started looking into adoption.  We visited and registered with three different agencies, and waited.  We went to seminars, workshops, meeting after meeting. We eagerly anticipated the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.  This went on for a couple years.

One night, we received a call from a friend of ours who knew we were in this process. She had a friend with a young daughter who was two months pregnant. We met with the young lady and her parents. They came to our house and she talked of placing her baby for adoption when the time came.

We went through home visits, background checks, court proceedings, more home visits.  Within 6 months, all was accomplished, and a judge’s advocate was assigned to help us. The court system and child welfare agencies all had given us high marks and adoption approval.

We had been in constant contact with the birth mother, and when we gave her the news, she was happy and excited.  We made plans for the birth, and she went into labor. In the waiting area,  we received word that a baby boy had been born.  The nurses brought him to me on the way to the nursery, and I got to hold my new boy.

The next few days are just a blur but we managed to get all the legalities covered, and Marie and I left the hospital , going home with our new baby, Justin Alexander.  The next few days were filled with celebration, and everyone came to meet him.”

Catch up on Friday when we realize the birth mother changes her mind and returns for Justin. They never see him again.

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