The Cost of Adoption? More Than Money!

As you may know by now, my family, who is looking to adopt a female toddler, has veered from searching out international agencies in Asia and Africa to signing up for a domestic adoption and filling out a slew of paperwork with an agency.

We already sat in on a 3-hour foster care “resource family” seminar and we are waiting for our schedule to open up to initiate our 24 hours of “foster parent training” which is mandated by the state of California.

We are also tempted to sit in yet another 3-hour seminar with another country agency because they come so, so highly recommend from you, readers (and friends) of Parents.com. My husband Darrin and I are supposed to start 24 hours of foster parenting classes next week — learning how to communicate as a new family, healing and growing as a team — but I just got offered an amazing consulting job opportunity that will need substantial travel and I’d end up missing too many of those classes.

The Choice: A great job opp or plan for a new kid?

My husband still wants us to attend the foster domestic adoption classes — he is the touchstone for this adoption process and has wanted to adopt more than me from the beginning (FYI).

I feel like this job opportunity is too good to be missed and I almost feel relieved that we can blow off those classes for another few months. (Foster care 24-hour training sessions are offered only quarterly with our particular agency.)

Then I remember: We already blew off the first round of 24-hour training because the timing wasn’t right for our schedule back in May! Darrin thinks I may just be postponing the inevitable: Maybe I am totally not ready to adopt.

I’ve talked to other adoptive parents who said they had to wait for their spouse to be emotionally ready for years, 4, 5, I’ve even heard they waited seven years until one husband could move through the adoption process in a supportive and healthy manner.

So, when will I be ready to adopt?

When will I start yearning for another child the way my husband does, even the way my son keeps talking about a little sister. I do want that for him — but at what cost?

How did you know you were ready to adopt?

Keep me posted, and send your adoption story my way.

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
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