Part 1: Mom Chooses Open Adoptions for Transracial Daughters
Rachel Garlinghouse got my attention! She wrote, “Now we are the parents of two African-American girls. Ellis is age 3, Emery age 1, and we will adopt again, either domestic infant adoption or through foster care.”
Rachel, 29, and her husband Steve, 33, are Illinois natives and they chose “fully open adoptions” Twice! This means both families communicate regularly, exchange photos and spend quality time throughout the year with each others’ families. How civilized and grown-up… and how good for the babies!
“Steve and I also speak at adoption training sessions and I facilitate an adoptive mom support group,” said Rachel.
Rachel said, We chose fully open adoption because adoption isn’t about the adoptive parents. Plus, adoption agencies cater to open adoptions and realize that the person making the ultimate sacrifice is the biological parent [who might wish to maintain contact.]
“Adoption isn’t about what makes me happy and comfortable, it’s about what is best for my child.”
As an adoptive parent, I had to get over myself, Rachel said.
“If my child’s biological parent(s) and siblings want regular contact, who am I to say no? ”
Rachel and Steve waited an excruciating 14 months for their first child. She knows why!
“For the first year, we were only open to a white, healthy child. However, we did a lot of reading and we spoke with transracial families, and we talked and we prayed. We ultimately decided that we would be great parents to a child of any race.”
Come back on Friday when we meet both of Rachel’s gorgeous daughters.