Happy 2012, a Great Year to Adopt!

adoption, dog adoption I know you’re out there somewhere: I’ve met you at the occasional Pilates class (you were hogging my favorite spot!) and we’ve giggled on the playground sidelines. You’re the one trailing a shopping cart at the market and using your Blackberry ferociously. You are like me, or at least I hope you are.

My husband and I have been together and in love (most of the time — you know?) for nearly seven years and we have one beautiful biological boy named Sam who is the best thing ever. In fact, Darrin (my patient husband) and I still brawl about who wakes up with him on Sunday mornings. Sam is especially cuddly during weekend cartoons, so we both beg for the early-morning lovin’.

Sam is just about to turn six and he started asking us about his little sister, who is nonexistent. “When can I have a sister like [name of school friend]?

Sam does not appreciate my answers to the adoption dilemma. “You are the best, how can I ever top you?”

Four frowning eyes (two blue and two hazel) turn to me and my tender sweet son, murmurs, “But mommy, who can I play with?” Sam asks me with a little quiver starting in his juicy bottom lip.

Sam doesn’t care if our potential adopted child is an aquamarine Martian, two-headed with a spiky dragon-like tail… he just wants her. Now. In our house. My husband twirls his thumbs innocently during the exchange.

Sam says he’ll give up his big boy bed and sleep on the floor so his new sister can take his bed. He also tells me there are sick kids in the world who don’t have a mommy to call on when their tummy hurts at night, like he does. Sam reminds me that his friend Logan, at school, is adopted.

You know, like how we adopted our dog. We all love this dog and he was ADOPTED too. Yes, yes, I’m getting it now.

Sam grills on: “Aren’t there kids who need a mommy? Because you are good and cute and beautiful.” Thank you, Sam.

Parents, has adopting ever crossed your mind? Do you feel pressure from your spouse or child? I would love to know all about your adoption dilemma for the upcming year, and don’t stop celebrating either.

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Sara

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:08 am

    My husband & I began trying for a second when our beautiful daughter was just 2. We had no problems getting pregnant with her. It took a few months, but no problems, an amazing pregnancy. After 6 months of trying I got anxious. My doctor said really you need to give it a year. Okay, a year, but I knew something wasn’t right. A year came, he wanted to run all of the hormone tests. All normal. So, on to drugs. We’ve now wasted 15 months. 4 months of chlomid. Nothing. Finally, he referred me to a fertility specialist. His first step was to determine if either of my fallopian tubes were blocked. As it turned out, they were both blocked and I was scheduled to have them cleared as well as some procedures to check for endometriosis, a D&C, and more. There was in fact endometriosis, but all went well, completely cleared for child-bearing!
    One week later, my husband was diagnosed with Stage-3 colon cancer. During his surgery to remove the tumor and part of the colon, his surgeon damaged nerves making it impossible for us to conceive naturally again. He has also had 12 months of chemotherapy, certainly compromising his fertility.

    Prior to beginning chemo, we stored sperm and have it “on ice,” but are unsure if we will ever use it. First of all, it is a minimal amount. We had very poor guidance in all of this. Nobody told us our options for later. Also, through it all, we have come to some serious realizations. When the time is right, we believe that there is a baby that will need us and that will be right in our little family. Our daughter is 6 now and understands that adoption is the way we will grow. She is like your son, wanting and needing a brother or sister. Financially, cancer has wiped us out, he has just finished month 12 of chemo, we started in 2009, with surgery 1. Last summer we found it had spread to his lung & had 2 surgeries – 1 to remove the small nodule & 1 because there was an infection after, so then began the 2nd chemo. I teach & my husband is a police officer, so I don’t know where the adoption money will come from, but I know we have to do it. I just don’t know how yet.