Older Mom Chooses Open Adoption – Twice!

I’ve been talking to Diane from North Carolina about her choice to use open adoption, where her newborn daughter has always been in touch with her biological family.

Diane recently said, “My husband Pat and I adopted when we were in our early forties after two miscarriages. There was no known reason for the miscarriages, the typical unexplained infertility, so we moved rapidly into adoption.” They wasted no time and finished home study within a year.

After doing their adoption research, choosing between international and national adoption, they selected a domestic agency that specialized in open adoption.

She said, “Picture a deer in the headlights! In 1994, we signed up for open adoption, went through one failed adoption and finally brought home our darling beautiful daughter in 1995. Katie is now a 17-year old gem.”

Katie has always known her entire extended biological family but also realizes their lifestyle and their life choices (drug addiction, teen pregnancy) are not her choices.  Because they had such a wonderful experience with open adoption, Diane and Pat returned to the same agency three years later when Katie was a toddler. And they went through another failed adoption… more heartbreak.

Diane keenly remembered, “Three weeks after a sad failed adoption, we finally adopted a newborn boy named Kevin. Kevin was born to a married couple with four biological siblings and, oddly, he was the only child the family placed up for adoption. Today, Kevin also knows his clan and has communication with them but it’s been much harder since our son has special needs.”

Diane and Pat did not realize during their placement of Kevin that he would be a high-functioning autistic with a mood disorder and learning disabilities. At 14, Kevin now functions well at his special school and participates in Boy Scouts. Diane fully admits this has been a tough road.

“But Pat and I both love being older parents to both children. Thanks to Kevin, I’m a staunch advocate for special needs kids, autism, and mental health issues during adoption,” she said. “He is a charming boy with gorgeous black hair and radiant blue eyes, and full of charisma!”

Diane has progressed to being an advocate into adoption education, especially for special needs kids. She said,  “I realized I wanted to be more of an hands-on mom, so ultimately I repackaged my skill set into adoption education. Diane also has launched an adoption site that reflects her remarkable know-how and education background.

As always, we thank Thea Ramirez for making the adoptive mom introductions, thanks to Diane and Thea for making adoption easier for the rest of us. Tell me your story here!

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