Part 2: Military Couple Fights to Adopt During Deployment
After four years of infertility, Jessica and Greg from Arizona were shocked when a social worker put their adoption plans on hold because Greg was deployed for 10 months. All the paperwork and home study and hard work…
Jessica said, “We fought tooth and nail to become certified. Our social worker demanded we see a counselor and psychologist who both told her that they saw no reason why we could not pursue adoption. Here I was a new Army wife with a husband that was about to leave for 10 months. Would we end up in divorce, like she said, because military divorce rates are the highest?”
After basic training, Greg went to Officer Candidate School and then he left for basic training in June and wasn’t set to come home until April. Greg was still in basic training when Jessica got a call of a newborn girl becoming available to them for via adoption.
“The day I was suppose to leave for Greg’s graduation was the day she was born. I hadn’t seen my husband for 10 weeks and I felt torn. Deep down, I had this bad feeling that something was going to go wrong and all I wanted was to see Greg.”
That adoption did fail for many reasons, and the couple moved onto private adoption with an expensive attorney who accepted the military family’s new circumstances. “We began working with him in the beginning of April and we were matched by the end of May. I do not recommend networking on your own… it is a roller coaster ride. Friends and family would tell us about every possible adoption situation, there were nine possible matches, but none came to fruition.”
The couple began working with yet another adoption agency because the attorney moved too slowly. “Through our journey, I learned that there are a lot of agencies and lawyers who view expectant couples and prospective adoptive couples as dollar signs and nothing else. Adoption should be about the unborn child and finding him or her loving parents not how much money will be made once the baby is born,” said Jessica.
They began the private adoption process in November of 2009. We were certified on July 14, 2010 and baby Elle was born July 12, 2011…exactly one year later. “My husband and I were in complete awe when we saw our daughter for the first time. I will never forget seeing her in for the first time and thinking she was the most beautiful, tiny baby.”
“We knew at that moment that every tear and all the heartache we endured didn’t matter anymore. She was our heart’s cry and because of her, we were parents.”
The brave couple, photographed on right with Elle, is now expecting baby number two via private adoption, and Jessica writes about her journey on her own blog.
I want to thank Thea Ramirez of Adoption Share for introducing me to Jessica and also for helping other families find their child through private adoption.
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