Adoption Expert: “How to Avoid a Private Adoption Swindle”
Across the United States each year, there are an estimated 25,000 domestic private adoptions annually; and there are roughly 13,000 international adoptions, according to the official Adoption Guide 2010. The good news is there are also over 57,000 state adoptions via foster care per year, according to private adoption expert Thea Ramirez, a go-to experts on the subject. After years working for a country agency, she is now on her own helping parents sidestep common scams with private adoptions, and she works with individuals and private agencies… but this social worker has seen it all!
Here are Thea’s top 4 “stay-away” scams when desperate parents find a birth mother:
- Birth mother who start an adoption conversation with any phrase such as… “How much money will you give me for my baby?” Regardless of her intentions to place her child, this birth mother has just broken the law by intending to sell a child.
- The birth mother refuses to work with a professional or any kind of intermediary agency to look out for the welfare of the baby. Instead a scammer might say, “Let’s just keep this between us or keep it online because you don’t want to pay out attorney fees.”
- If a birth mother (or often a birth mother’s spouse or even her parents) does not make or keep her doctor appointments, if she blows off any single appointment with you or your representatives, you must become very suspicious. “Obviously if a birth mother begins asking for escalating monies, be warned and stop paying immediately,” says Thea.
- This one is subtle but it pays to really listen. “If you become aware of any small inconsistencies in her story, from her due date or reasons she skipped a doctor’s appointment, why she cannot keep her baby, these discrepancies often reveal there’s more to the story that she is hiding.”
Thea urges adoptive parents to find a balance, and urges all of us to become very open to the adoption journey, so couples should talk about it every day, and avoid second-guessing every single little step. “Abject fear of something going wrong sucks the joy and excitement from the journey and generates negative energy for all parents,” she warns.
Remember as you prepare to adopt: A birth parent is not some obstacle or barrier to your dreams, she is the vehicle for you to get to your dreams! Thea says, “Your reality is not controlled or confined by a mathematical equation. Life is short, loving and being fully present in a tough situation regardless of the outcome will make you a far richer person. Be present, be bold, love always.”
Thanks to Adoption-Share for fighting for parents and babies everywhere!
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