Adopted Kids Who Do Not Want to Find Bio Mom
If you’ve been reading now for awhile, you know that my husband Darrin and I want to add to our one biological child Sam (he’s closer to six now than five) because Sam desperately wants a sibling and my guys are slowly talking me into it. I feel ambivalent a lot of the time because I like our simple, do-able life. I can go hiking with my dog when I want, Sam and Darrin are at the age when they want to play sports together.
I also travel frequently for work and I don’t want to be tied down with another little one any time soon. I think.
I’ve been emailing back and forth with a smart lady named Belinda in San Dimas, Calif. I feel like she has a unique perspective because her adoptive parents actually saved up all her adoption papers and gifted them to her and Belinda did not wish to find her bio parents.
Not one little bit. What gives?
Belinda said, “I was adopted at six weeks old and my bio mom was supposedly a young woman who came to Los Angeles to work and end up in a firm working for a man that was high powered enough at the time to have a recognizable name. She ended up having an affair with him and getting pregnant. He was a married man, so adoption is what she chose.”
When she was 18, Belinda’s loving adoptive mom gave her the legal notes and one-page biography in the adoption papers about her young mother. She remembers the “healthy” status of her bio mother from those notes, brown hair, blues eyes, her height and interests. “In fact both my bio mom and my adoptive one enjoyed reading and sewing. That was interesting.”
Belinda’s adoptive parents (her “real” parents) always acknowledged her adoption and encouraged her to discuss it. “They just let me know from a really early age, so it was always a part of my knowledge and never a shock. No weird comments from relatives, nothing. Also, I look enough like my adoptive parents and brother so that no one questioned me.”
Belinda has never searched out her bio-mom. “I just felt that I had my real family, nothing was missing and I assumed the same was true for my bio-mom. At least I have always hoped so, for her sake,” Belinda said. It all seems very healthy and loving, bravo.
Thanks for sharing, Belinda. Please tell me your foster or adoption story next.