Part 2: Neglected Daughter is Sexually Abused by her Violent Brother

If you tuned in on Wednesday, you met Carolann from Florida, who was neglected and violently beaten by her mentally ill mother during childhood. While she was still toddler, her brother began raping and abusing her at home and when she complained to her teacher, she was beaten again by her own mother “for telling and getting your brother in trouble.”

Carolann P. remembered, “What is sad is this is too common and no one does enough for the victims of such abuse. I remember every instance, every night. I’ve  never blocked it out although I’ve tried.”

Her frightening and degrading childhood has impacted every decision she’s made, from her hard life to the man she married. “How do I handle this, even after years and years of recovery therapy…  It cost me my marriage and some of my sanity, an emotion breakdown and hardship. Of course it has.”

Carolann wished desperately to be placed into foster care and confessed once everything to a third grade teacher.  “I was beaten when I came home for it that one but I will never forget the teachers who tried to help, gave me a safe place to do homework.  It is my belief without the help I received from perfect strangers all along my journey I would be forgotten and just another number added to the sad list of suicides in this country.”

Today she helps other victims find their voice and freedom from abuse.

“Everyone in my family inherited depression and I am the only one to receive consistent help.  I am the only one who goes for treatment. I also learned some time ago, we are all born alone. I am responsible now for my  own life … but it’s a messed up world to me.”

“After spending much of my life in recovery for something that was not my fault, I want my day in court, I want my brother to pay restitution for stealing my life away.”

“I wish I had never been born to her, I wish my mother could have had the strength to give us up for adoption to a kind family. I beg other abusive parents to do the same. I have the fondest memories of living with one foster mom for a few happy months of peace. She was the nicest person.”

“Thanks for letting me purge.”

– Carolann P. in Florida

Join me in congratulating Carolann for surviving but this abuse has got to stop. We must become more aware of these situations. Stay tuned for anti-abuse blogs next week. Hear me roar!

Add a Comment
Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Alan Smithee

    On October 20, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    I feel for her and creatures like her brother give all us men a bad name.
    The actions of the authorities should fill every one of us with shame.
    We should also consider that every single free citizen has a natural right to defend his or her self against attack. As civilized people we generally refer such things to the authorities and the courts and forgo both non-immediate sef-defence and the right to take revenge against those who cause extraordinary and vicious injury to us and our kin group.
    However, if society and the law will not do their sacred duty then you regain your rights.
    There would have been nothing immoral in the actions of a person who under those circumstances chose to kill their tormentor.
    I do not presume to be in any position to be able to judge the author- I know I could not possible understand what she went through.
    But for those victims who are able and do choose to fight back we should honor them and applaud their actions rather than suggest that there is something bad about using force to protect yourself against evil.

  2. by Natasha

    On October 27, 2011 at 8:02 am

    I was abused by both parents and raped by cousins, uncles I also told a teacher. However, I am thankful and glad that what happened to me made me a better person. No matter how bad you have it, there is always someone who has it worse, Im thankful.

  3. by Mario

    On December 4, 2011 at 3:55 am

    GODBLESS ALL VICTIMS OF ANY KIND OF ABUSE!! My heart goes out to those who have survived such abuse, and my prayers to those who unfortunately did not survive!!

  4. by Jennifer Mendoza

    On December 23, 2011 at 8:07 pm

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  5. by julie

    On December 28, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. i too have been abused by my brother, and raped by 6 men. also physically abused by husbands and boyfriends. Ive experienced that when you do defend yourself you get punished and they get a slap on the hand. Because you picked up an equalizer shall i say. When is comes to rapist and abusers they never get their justice. We just pay for it for the rest of our lives. We have a choice go on or not. I choose to never give up. I just wish the pain and hurt would go away. 48 yrs and its still there. God bless all of you who have been raped or abused. STAY STRONG

  6. by Sophia

    On January 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    I feel for her. I’ve been in a somewhat possition as she. My sperm doner was abusive (my mom devorced him) Then I was molested by a boy a few years older than me(I was in kindegaden). I didn’t tell anyone till I was 14. I didn’t know how. I didn’t talk much when I was little. So, I think it’s brave of her to tell her story and hopefully, some one can see what’s going on and take a stand.

  7. by Julia

    On January 11, 2012 at 7:54 am

    It is almost too much to even read what some have been through but I am impressed with the fact that I did not sense any hate from the victims and that is wh only way of victory in these cases. The struggles may be hard but Jesus is able to bring and give peace and also teach howto forgive. God bless each of you. May your life take on a whole new meaning.

  8. by AJA

    On March 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Part2: Neglected daughter is sexually abused by her violent brother.

    What deeply saddens me is that, children. little girls such as this story are the children who endure rapes to no avail. They are the ones who-need protection. Yet, the state, in every state in this country will remove children for reasons: social worker does not like the mother. State pays bonuses etc? I pray God will end this nightmare soon! No one has the right to take children from their birth families and trade them like commodities to a different family of a different culture and all are paid at the Mothers and Children’s expense!

  9. by PattyFromTexas

    On April 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Child abuse lasts for a lifetime. Even at an age where my own children are now teens, child abuse affects every decision, every opinion, every reaction. It’s part of who I am, like a birthmark. I learned to live with it. Horrible abuse that would have landed my stepmother in prison had she done today what she did back then when most people minded their own business. I ran away again and again until I no longer had to run. I lived on the streets from age 14 to 18, when I applied for and was granted emancipation. My love for reading saved me. I spent every spare minute reading. I spent hours upon hours in the coolness of the libraries in the various cities I hitchhiked to. No one ever questioned or bothered me in the libraries. I was horribly abused, locked in closets for days at a time while my mother partied, beaten until I looked like a rainbow, whipped with electrical cords, but oh how I wanted her to love me. That was so long ago and yet it never completely leaves my awareness.

    I never raised a hand to my children, never verbally abused them never called them names or hurt them with words because in my opinion the worst sin is to deliberately hurt others. The youngest is 16 straight A student from kindergarten, the older is laid back artistic and a freshman in college. Yes child abuse can be survived. But the biggest obstacle is trust. You never learn to trust anyone. The hardest part of any relationship for me is learning how to trust someone. I’ll never be able to trust easily. To this day the only person I completely trust is my best friend/husband. Someday I’ll be alone again. I don’t know how I’ll handle that.

  10. by Rich

    On April 11, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Aja, you seriously contradicted yourself in your statement. You say that these children have to be protected but then say that no one has the right to remove children from the home. Oftentimes that is the only way to protect them. Yes, there are times when they are wrongly removed, but most times it is for a good reason. There are no bonuses for removals or anything like that. Where do you get your information? The social workers will do everything they can to prevent a removal including finding temporary living with other members of the family.

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  17. by Patricia

    On August 28, 2012 at 6:40 am

    What a sad story how can people just sit around and watch someone being abused that tells you that there are so many twisted people and they may be in you face daily.

  18. by youknow

    On September 7, 2012 at 7:34 am

    my heart goes out to all who have been abused whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally

  19. by Vanessa

    On September 27, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Speaking to the commentor above regarding people sitting around and knowing and allowing it:
    I have reported my uncle’s girlfriend (she has two girls one his and another whose father she does not know)to the Department of Children and Families over 3 times. I happen to know that there have been pother calls to DCF made by schools and pediatrician’s offices.I have done everything in my power (taking them to my house as often as possible for sleepovers, having them over for dinners to make sure they are fed, bathing them to make sure they are clean, giving them clothes, advice, helping with homework, etc.)within my power short of kidnapping them to help these girls. The system is flawed. They send some social worker out (after n a pre-notification to the party under investigation) and they do a home inspection. Unless the person is literally beating the kid in front of them they usually find nothing. Of course if you call them first then they have plenty of time (which she has) to warn the kids that they will be removed, punished, etc. etc. By the time the worker comes these kids are all smiles and life is great, dinner is at 6 every night and they love their mommy. When they are at my house they enever want to leave and beg me not to answer my phone when she calls to pick them up. I have my own two girls and money is tight, but still I have a room in my house for them and it will stay there forever until the day they can come home.

  20. by Susie

    On January 11, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    what a horrifying ordeal for anyone to go through. i think Carolann is pretty remarkable to be a reasonably functioning adult. good for her!

  21. by Arla

    On January 12, 2013 at 9:28 am

    I felt like I had two choices, continue to be a victim, or learn to fight. I chose the latter and I am a much stronger, more secure, more serene person today.
    The most important thing to remember is just how weak sexual abusers really are. They are slaves to their basest of impulses, like a filthy dog in the street who can’t control themself. How pitiful they really are, and even more so because they delude themselves into believing that their lowly and disgusting actions make them strong or tough. The reality of the situation is that they are too weak to either control their little ding dongs or be the kind of man who someone would want to be with willingly.
    Always remember who the weak, feeble one is, the man who is unable to control his own mind and body.

  22. by ammie

    On January 21, 2013 at 12:32 am

    I was sexually abuse by my uncle when i was 9… I wasn’t able tell anyone because I’m always the one that my family will left out. They never believe anything that i say. i keep everything to myself..i don’t had anyone to turn to. After 10 years…i got marry, oneday out of nowhere my husband made me call my mom to tell her about it…so i did…and in reply…my mom told me to shut my big mouth so that people won’t know that im such a disgusting person from getting sexually abused by her brother who she loved more then her own child who she gave birth to…everytime when i think about it….i felt disgusted…i felt like im so useless….even now…its still haunt me in my sleep…make me feel as if my life is pointless….ashamed of my self each time my husband bring it up….