Part 1: Sexually Abused Daughter Yearns for Foster Care

Since I’ve been writing this blog for, I’ve received so many beautiful words of encouragement as well as your outspoken and opinionated discussions. I’ve learned which conversations have merit, which ones might be a little fabricated, which stories are real. And now I have an amazing story of survival that I know is real — but I wish it wasn’t!

Reader Carolann still doesn’t believe her story is worth being told. She says she knows of dozens of other neglected and abused women who had it worse off than her.

Warning: The following story will cause sleepless night. Stay tuned for Part 2 on Friday.

She first wrote to me to thank me for bringing difficult adoption situations out into the light. She wrote, “How I wish someone like you could have saved me, Nicole! What a long journey it’s been but I am alive today and while I don’t want to make anyone else shocked or sad at my life, I want you to know this still happens everywhere, in every city, in suburbs, to kids of all ages. So  your kind words are very appreciated. You must keep up the good work to help others like me heal.”

Carolann was born in 1955 into an unbalanced, fatherless and abusive home. “My mom did nothing but beat us and tell us girls [me and my sister] that we were never wanted. Only her son [my older brother] was ever planned or wanted.

“I don’t dislike my mother for her total lack of concern now, some 30 years later, but our entire family inherited profound levels of depression, and my mom was the worst. I view my biological mom as a mentally ill person.”

Amazingly, Carolann’s brother began sexually molesting her when she was very young and it continued for years on end mercilessly. Carolann’s mother was fully aware of it and did nothing to stop the physical and sexual, escalating violence.

When Carolann finally confessed to this violent abuse to a kind teacher at school — remember this was 30 years ago — the teacher contacted authorities who briefly placed Carolann in a foster home, but the poor kid was sent back into her hellhole of a family some months later. And she received the beating of her life “for telling.”

When she finally got up enough nerve to ask her violent older bother why he touched her and hurt her so terribly, he answered: “Because you are the weakest in the house.”

Carolann prayed to go back to foster care or be placed for adoption so someone could love and protect me, she remembered.

Tune in to Part 2 on Friday, where Carolann P. from Florida thanks total strangers for saving her life.

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Alan Smithee

    On October 20, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    I would never presume to know what “would have been best” for anyone else especially foe events in childhood- children can not be held to the standards we apply to adults.
    Nevertheless, we as a society fail to say-
    to kill your abuser is a good thing. Violence can sove some kinds of problems. Give violence a chance.
    I do not expect everyone to agree with me, pacifism has a morally defencible position- Jesus, Mohandas K Ghandi, the Freedom Riders etc.
    So does self defence. To kill your abuser is not immoral-especially when society refuses to help like this case.