Part 2: Adoption, Last Stop for Infertile Couples?
If you tuned in on Monday, I explored the story of Courtney and Patrick, 36, who have battled infertility for all ten years of their marriage. Finally, only last summer, did the IVF costs and eternal dashed hopes lead Courtney to the decision to adopt. Patrick has been open to this decision for years but it took a lot longer for Courtney to catch up!
“I had it in my head that old argument about giving birth to my biological children, blood of my blood kind of thing,” says Courtney today. It took this smart nurse almost a decade to make her decision!
Last summer 2010, the couple Courtney and Patrick earned a foster care license from their Lincoln, Neb. county. They took a 3-hour orientation (as any foster family must) and underwent the 24 hours of hardcore parental training.She says, “We let our assigned resource foster partner know from the very beginning that we were interested in newborns and twins only, and we definitely would adopt any foster children.”
It happened quickly: On January 5, a case worker called to say a potential twin match was made and we waited. And waited for the twins to be released from the hospital in mid-January. “The babes were dropped off one snowy night, we signed four sheets of legal paperwork to foster these twin boys, and then we were finally alone with them!” she says.
Did the new parents feel freaked out? Yep. “We knew next to nothing about these little guys but had a ton of social workers visit, follow-up agency care and the months have passed with now monthly visits from our social workers There is still so much paper work and regulations to formally adopt these two twin boys but overall the foster care experience has been wonderful.”
Courtney also reports, “We’ve had the boys 8 months and I can’t imagine life any other way. I thought of them as mine from the moment I looked at them, despite being told not to do that. That is the one drawback of adopting through foster care; in most cases family reunification is the goal. Our case was a bit different in that there was little chance for reunification because this particular bio mom has six other kids that have been removed from her care over the years.”
Bottom line advice from joyous mom Courtney: “From that first moment, I could not love them any more. Love like this is everything I dreamed it would be; it makes me the woman I am meant to be, the family we were meant to be. All worth it.”
Please tell me your story, and thanks to Courtney and Patrick for their perseverance!