Part 2: A Birth Mother Changes Her Mind, Plus Baby
On Monday, we profiled Ilyssa from New Jersey who, with her husband Ben, waited for their newborn son for weeks until their birth mother changed her mind during labor and disappeared with her child.
“Devastated we returned home to pick up the pieces. Even our agency was horrified, they called the police but to no avail. Nothing could be done — the baby was gone. Two days later, my social worker called and said we had to move on and she promised to help us find another baby,” recalls Ilyssa, who asked that her last name not be used.
“Five days later, on January 30th, still in mourning for a child I would never see, my amazing social worker called and said a baby girl had been born but the birth mother was a drug addict and was waffling about giving up her newborn for adoption. Since the baby girl was born with drugs in her system, the agency was working hard to place the child.
“We drive and took custody of our baby girl that week but we had to stay in a hotel because the drug-addicted mother was battling us in court… ” The family’s legal fees mounted as they stayed in the hotel room for over a month to maintain custody of the newborn daughter.
The family’s legal fees eventually topped the $100,000 mark because they had to meet in court over 20 hearings. Thankfully baby * Rose remained with her adoptive family for over a year while the battle raged. Something else happened during this tumultuous legal battle: Another newborn baby, an African-American boy, was also put for adoption. “We began simultaneous adoption proceedings for a second baby boy, a preemie, slightly younger than baby *Rose,” says Ilyssa.
Barely a month apart, Ilyssa and Ben eventually took home two precious children just about two years ago and have been so happy with them since. “On our 4-year anniversary, we had these two beautiful babies when I had to give my husband his very unique and amazing anniversary present,” remembers Ilyssa with a laugh.
Ilyssa was pregnant! Fast-forward two years and Ilyssa says, “I am now a stay-at-home mother to three toddlers all within 11 months apart and all under four!”
Ilyssa’s best advice to adoptive parents:
“Whatever happens during adoption is meant to be. You can’t plan everything out in life; you’ve got to learn how to roll with it. “
How’s that for an adoption story? Thanks to sisters Lori and Ilyssa for feeding us great adoption fodder over the last two weeks! Do you have a good adoption story too?
Updated: We’ve removed the family’s last name, photo, and some other details from this post in order to respect their request for greater privacy.Add a Comment