Part 2: Great Adoption Advice from a Birth Mother

Today, Denise Olson, 33, is a happily married mother to three rambunctious boys in Colorado. She’s also a birth mother who was emotionally devastated when she had to give up her first child (a newborn son) after her freshman year in college.

After lots of tears and soul-searching, Denise was introduced to a couple who had longed for a child for over a decade and the couple was unable to conceive on their own.

Denise remembers, “I spoke to them on the phone and answered their questions, and they answered mine before we made the commitment to meet each other. We met and instantly had a connection, so I knew right away they were meant to be the parents of my unborn child. They seemed so wise, so balanced.”

Several months later in a hospital, she handed over her newborn son to his new family. “I can’t explain my feeling of loss and love at the same time as I handed my newborn, after 24 hours of labor, over to his parents. That moment completed their lives and gave me a new lease on mine.”

She also remembers, “When I gave birth to my first son, Will, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love… motherly love for a newborn child…but overtaken with the feeling of loss, at the same time, when I handed him to his adoptive mother. In that moment when they became a little family of three and I saw the incredible emotion, I knew I had completed this family that they longed for.

“After the delivery, I felt a new lease on my life, almost as if giving birth made me grow up and made me see things clearer. Adoption was a very important decision.”

Denise has words of wisdom for all mothers considering giving their baby up for adoption: “My advice to birth mothers is simple: Do what is best for the interest and well being of your unborn child, and you will never go wrong.”

“Adoption is the most selfless act imaginable.”

Today, lovely Denise is happily married and has three boys of her own, ages 10, 8 and 3!  She’s written three children’s books and wants her own story as a birth mother to be heard loud and clear.

Photo Credit: Denise and her middle son, Dane.

Denise, thanks for sharing. You are amazing. Please tell us your inspiring adoption story here!

Add a Comment
Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Courtney

    On August 20, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Thank you for being a great advocate for adoption. As a woman going through the process of adopting it was important for me to hear your side as well!

  2. by Liz McLennan

    On August 21, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    Every parent wants to believe that they are handing their child out into the world with great love: they are our gifts.

    In my heart, I believe that I was handed out twice: once by my birth mother, whose heart, though young, was wise and so she gave me into my parents’ keeping. They, in turn, handed me out into the world: a doubly-blessed, beloved daughter.

    Denise’s voice – and her story – are so important, so that other mothers who made the difficult, entirely selfless choice to give up her child, can know that they are strong and wise.

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  6. by Jessy

    On December 29, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    This article is very moving to me. I am in a unique situation. When my husband was 16 he and his then girlfriend choose to put their son up for adoption. When my husband and I started dating he told me I think on our 1st date about his son. He was both proud of the choice he had made and sad about it because he had children since then and knew how much he loved them and always felt he was missing out on his sons life. 3 years ago we were given the chance to adopt a little girl and knew it was the right thing to do. We had always wanted to but never thought it would happen. Then in September 2011 while messing around on Facebook we found my husband son! He is 21 and was living 5 BLOCKS from us. He is a fantastic young man thanks to his adoptive mom who raised him as a single mom after her husband unexpectedly passed away shortly after the adoption was completed. Needless to say we have had the absolute best Christmas ever. We just hope we can do as good by our adopted daughter as his adoptive mother has done for him. Adoption is such an amazing thing. My husband always says his heart can’t tell the difference between an adopted child and a biological child. While I have no biological children I know that my love for my step kids only grew stronger when we adopted our daughter.

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