Part 1: Adoption Advice from a Birth Mother

borth mother adoption storyI spend so much time interviewing mothers and parents who have been waiting endless months or even years for their new baby, that I agree it’s high time to interview a young mom who did the right thing. (I hear you loud and clear!)

Denise Olson, 33, is a successful, happily married mother to three rambunctious boys, and  lives in Colorado. She’s also a birth mother who was emotionally devastated when she had to give up her first child (a newborn son) after freshman year in college 15 years ago.

Like many other young, American birth mothers who must give up their children to private adoptions or to adoption agencies, Denise had many issues growing up and wasn’t ready to become a mother when she found herself in a heartbreaking predicament.

Olson says, “I grew up in a broken home that was plagued with abuse at the hands of my mother, and always felt deep despair that made me feel alone and out of place. I was raised with my two brothers by a loving single father who had to maintain three jobs in order to pay the bills and keep food on the table. Early life was hard.”

And then, a shocker.

Denise recalls the moment: “At the end of freshman year on college, I found out I was pregnant at the age of 18 but I knew that I was not capable of providing the home and care necessary for a baby. I thought babies were adorable, even more,  I knew that abortion would be a quick solution, but not a solution for me personally.”

After everything she had experienced as an abused child, Denise said she felt “rushed to grow up and be safe.” As many vulnerable and emotional birth mothers likely feel, Denise says, “In college, in some sense, I thought I was more mature than my age. I realized after becoming pregnant as a teenager that I was not quite as grown up as I thought I was.”

Denise spent countless hours praying and soul searching before she decided to put her baby up for adoption. She says, “I knew it was the right decision for me, I felt it deep inside my soul.”

Photo Credit: Denise Olson and her happy family in Parker, Colorado

Join us on Friday for Part 2: Adoption Advice from a Birth Mother Giving Up Her Newborn

Add a Comment
Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Liz McLennan

    On August 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I am keen to read the rest of this story. As an adoptee, I’ve always considered my bio-mother’s decision to give me up a selfless one, done with love and an innate wisdom.

    My bio-mother doesn’t see it that way at all – it’s amazing to both of us that we can see things so differently. Regardless, I remain blessed and grateful to her. For everything.

  2. by Nicole Dorsey

    On August 16, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Liz, Tune in on Friday where Denise has such great advice for ALLL mothers. ALso, if you have a great story about your birth mother, I’d love to hear it! Please send it to me (under 500 words) to my email acct: nicoledorsey1@earthlink.net. xo

  3. by Gaby

    On August 23, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Nicole – very happy that you are sharing stories from members of the adoption circle. Also grateful that birth families and adoptive families are willing to share such intimate details. However, would really like to see us come together and use more positive adoption language. Let’s use “make an adoption plan” or “place for adoption”. “Put up” or “Give up” originated from orphan trains in the late 19th century: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0CYZ/is_3_33/ai_n26980858/?tag=mantle_skin;content

    Thanks for giving families a place to share!

  4. by nicole Dorsey

    On August 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I need vocab help: Placing for adoption is best but doesn’t sound grammatically correct but it’s PC. Thanks for your correx! Does everyone know what an adoption train is — horrible!

  5. by PipSqueak

    On August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Grammar teacher here – gave up for adoption and put up for adoption are not great grammar, either. So, you could say – Birth mothers who must place their children through private adoption or through adoption agencies. The birth mother did not give up her child to theses entities. She used them as a conduit for finding another home for her biological child.

  6. by Gaby

    On August 24, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Good content AND grammar advice! thank you! Thought the article was very interesting (and yes, horribly sad). But good to know where some of these terms come from and work together to change them!

  7. [...] Denise recalls: “At the end of freshman year on college, I found out I was pregnant at the age of 18 but I knew that I was not capable of providing the home and care necessary for a baby. In college, in some sense, I thought I was more mature than my age. I realized after becoming pregnant as a teenager that I was not quite as grown up as I thought I was.” Part 1: Adoption Advice from a Birth Mother [...]

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