Why Adopt? Sibing Rivalry is Overrated

“I wish I was an only child.” Growing up, I’d confide that tidbit to everyone in earshot, especially my sister, Lisa. When I hit my early teens and figured a few things out, instead I’d tell her, “Mom says you were a mistake. An accident, like, whoops! There’s… Lisa.” My sister mostly ignored me but we all knew it was true growing up.

My own mother admitted it upon deeper questioning: “C’mon, who actually plans to have two kids under two in diapers?” And then my mother would squint or actively grimace and say, every single time. “I believed the idiot when he told me I couldn’t get pregnant again so soon.” Barely a month after giving birth and my mother was pregnant again. Because she listened to “the idiot” who was my father.

Should I even have children with all the baggage in my family? Too late, Sam is five with a great head on his shoulders. Beloved bu two very active and loving parents. I adore being a mom, hSam makes me laugh and lighten up every day. He allows me to see the best side of life on a daily basis.

So I ask: If you grew up with a sib, did you ever wish you were an only child?

If you are an only child, did you occasionally yearn for a brother or sister?

Did that feeling ever go away? The yearning?

If I could really pick, I’d have clearly chosen to have a cute older brother with a slew of hot friends. But that’s just me; I’m always thinking ahead.

I don’t want my 5-year-old son to miss out on sharing any more childhood without a sibling to share it with…  If my sister didn’t routinely recall the triumphs and disasters of public school, I’d forget so much.

Without Lisa, who finally grew out of that “Eight is Enough” haircut in puberty, I would not have a complete dossier. The full dossier of my past, and also of me.

“Remember when… ?” That’s how family conversations with siblings often start.

Even if you have to finish the sentence with something rotten from our own family tree.  “Lisa, remember when Mom got so mad at Dad in the garage that she threw your bamboo fishing pole like a harpoon? “Member that?”

I do. Thanks to my sister…

Credit: Aunt Lisa Dorsey holding 3-month-old Sam. Sweetness.

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