Adopting a Dog Versus Adopting a Child

My husband Darrin and I are actively debating the merits of adopting a new dog (it will be our second) versus adopting a new child (it will also be our second).

Darrin’s argument is: This is a ridiculous argument because they do not compare and our family will benefit immeasurably with another child.

My argument is: Another rescue dog will help daddy feel more needed, a new rescue dog will keep our dog and son busy and we may, in time, forget all about your incessant yearning for another child. Let’s just tweak our thinking!

My other valid non-ridiculous reasons for rescuing another dog over adopting a second child:

  • Dogs stop pooping in the house a long time before the new baby will.
  • Easier to leave a dog with friends for overnight Vegas trips!
  • I never really want to leave my dog in the closet when he is whining. (He never wines, he sympathizes.)
  • There are millions of unwanted dogs in Los Angeles. (There are hundreds of unwanted kids…) Much better odds on the dog.
  • Dog adoption is much cheaper. And quicker. And if you get a lemon, you only have to keep it for, what, 10 years? With a child…

What do you think about our child adoption conundrum versus a new dog adoption argument is ridiculous? Do you agree with my husband? Please vote on who seems dumber. I will accept defeat if you speak up!

Add a Comment
Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff
  1. by Kim

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    We adopted a pitbull and have no regrets. Now we are adopting a 7 year old boy who has been in our lives since he was 6. No regrets. It is the most rewarding feeling ever. And it makes you realize how spoiled your own children are;). I love them all. No regrets.

  2. by Julie

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    I think you should get one of each! Some dogs will help watch the kids and herd them in and when there’s food being thrown from the high chair they gobble it right up! Anything left on the face is just a few doggie kisses from clean too.

  3. by Crystalina

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    HUMAN orphans need a loving family and a warm home much more than any animal will.

  4. by Lisa A Holland

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Just do both then its a win-win situation..

  5. by Jessica

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    I side with you, for several reasons you both have to be ready for another child and him pushing you towards his favor is not right when you are ready you are ready. Also, I think you have valid arguements for the dog and this way you can get a dog adjusted then if you decide you want a second child the dog will already be part of the family and can perhaps help the new child get used to things.

  6. by Debbie

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    This is a very sick joke.
    There are millions of unwanted children in the world!
    You may not be dumb but you shouldn’t be parenting a child if you consider putting the child in a closet for whining and returning a lemon. But of course I doubt any agency would approve you with this on the web anyhow.

  7. by Maria

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    I LOVE this! I’m of the same viewpoint. Having a child means potentially another major surgery for me, potentially another serious complication (my liver failed as a result of preeclampsia and did not resume normal function until after delivery), and the potential of having another very demanding child with a neurological condition. It would mean my career would come screaming to a halt. And it would be a blow to my rotten little boy who is not ready yet to cope with no longer being the baby.

    A dog, on the other hand could assist with the herding of offspring, console parents when said offspring is unreasonably difficult, and console offspring when his parent’s just don’t get it. A dog can be forcibly bathed when it’s stinky- teenaged males, not so much. A naughty dog can be banished to its crate if need be- social services frowns on similar treatment of children.

    I’m totally seeing this as a win for the dogs!

  8. by Jess

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    Honestly, it doesn’t sound like you are too enthusiastic about another child, so definitely do not adopt one. I think both parents need to be 100% postive that they want another child to love. If that’s not the case, such a huge decision and commitment shouldn’t be made… just my opinion though…

  9. by J. Morris

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    I am hoping that this a joke! How completely idiotic to compare adopting a human life to a dog!!! If this is serious, I do not think you should have either!!!!!!!!

  10. by Juli

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    I think that dog is the way to go. But that is only because we had a baby 10 months ago and I wanted another one but we got a dog and I have to say that it was the best choice It is nice to have filled that want for more right away and not have to wait 9 months for my new baby fix.

  11. by KG

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    It sounds like you really don’t want another baby. I think you’ve answered your own question.
    After 4.5 years of trying we gave up. At that point we had 2 cats and 2 dogs (all of our animals are rescues). We had to put our oldest dog to sleep because she had cancer. Three days later we found a dog running lose. After 2 hours of searching we found his family, but they didn’t want him back. The next month we decided to become foster parents (to humans). We only wanted 1 child to start with, but ended up with 3! We’re hoping to adopt all of them very soon. With 2 cats, 2 dogs, a turtle and 3 toddlers, our home is chaos, but it’s worth it.

  12. by Joy

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    WTHeck…like they even compare. Shame on you for writing your reasons..shame on Parents magazine for even considering putting this in black and white. I am truly shocked that you would compare a dog to a child and shocked by your statement “if you get a lemon”!!!! As an adoptive mother of a CHILD this is the most callous piece of writing I have ever seen.

  13. by Eva

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    Honestly it seems that you both need to come to some common ground. Both are big commitments to the family as a whole and if both adult parties aren’t on the same page resentment and unhappiness could ensue which isn’t healthy for the children animals or your relationship. Don’t leave this life changing decision to people outside your family. Until you both agree you should wait before making this choice.
    I do however have one comment about adopting a child. You seem to not want to go through the younger years. Perhaps instead of adopting a baby you should look into adopting a an older child seeing as they traditionally have a harder time being placed. You could also consider fostering on both ends and when you both come across the perfect fit for your family then see about continuing with the adoption.
    Whatever your decision good luck to you. You’re doing a good thing regardless just make sure it’s something you can all be happy with.

  14. by Abby

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    I totally agree with Debbie… This is DISGUSTING – You should not have the privilege of raising children!!!!

  15. by Alison

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    A dog will continue to poop in the yard forever though! :) Definitely adopt a child, more rewarding and can take care of you when you’re old. And although a dog will never talk back to you, you will never get to hear the words “I love you, mommy!”

  16. by Karen Stewart

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Everyone benefits from having another child in the family. Oldest child learns that the universe does not revolve around him. Parents learn that they are not the best parents in the world and that their tried and true methods of parenting don’t work on subsequent children. Adopted child gets a home and family to love them forever. I prefer children to dogs. Children grow up (quickly) and fledge, Dogs never leave. The uncertainty of children and the opportunity to help another young life find their passions, gifts and talents for life far outweighs any abilites that a dog might have. That said, we have four children and three dogs. One child is adopted, three dogs are rescue dogs. Choosing one over the other is not even a thought. Just do both! lol :0) No one says you have to be a 2 child 1 dog house! lol

  17. by Michelle

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    I am thinking that if you put anything whether it be a dog or a child in a closet for whining that you may want to consider adopting neither? When you are a parent, trips to Vegas???? No, you might want to take a family trip to Disney or something more family friendly!

  18. by CK2009

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Of course it is a ridiculous comparison. Each choice has to be made on its own merit–not one instead of the other! It does seem as though you’re not committed to having another child.

    I appreciate the humor you’re trying to inject here–but I do agree it can be a bit off-putting for some. But lighten up, people!

  19. by christylee Vickers

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    I say go for the dog. our children are 2yrs apart and they are best friends, we promised them a dog when we moved back to the US from Germany. So after looking for weeks we found a rescue dog on Craigslist. She was so beaten down that you would of never imagined her to be the happy licker, jumper, digger, rabbit catcher she is today. But she was loney and we were talking about the idea of another child. When Hubby got a puppy.. wow.

    I love it 2 kids 2 dogs, 2 cats, my family is awesome and we have balance… the dog… go for the dog.

  20. by Amanda

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Why are people so rude and judgmental? Reading such negative feedback to your article makes me want to hate the human race and their hatefulness. Your article gave me a good chuckle. Ignore the ignorant things these people have to say and adopt both. Clearly, you have a sense of humor. :) We have a 5 month old baby girl and 3 rescue pets! All are rewarding ventures/blessings!!!! Love should not be divided but multiplied!!!!!

  21. by Lauren

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    While I am pro adoption on both fronts I find the comparison ludicrous. Most certainly giving a parentless child a forever family is immeasurably more significant than doing the same for an animal…and I love our adopted dog and cat as family but it is not even close to the same thing. To compare them is disrespectful.

  22. by Sara

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    I’m reading one too many VERY judgemental posts. Lighten UP! Not every aspect of life needs to be so severe. I see the writer as a good woman with a touch of wit. I’ve learned over the years that enjoying being a mother comes with it’s fair share of sarcasm and dry humor… I personally, threaten to hang my children from the ceiling fan by their toe nails.
    My opinion? If you are questioning having another child, wait… there’s always time to surrender every aspect of your life… next year.

  23. by Sonja

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Are you serious? You are comparing humans and dogs? You should not have neither!

    Also, it’s bad that parents.com published your story. I was thinking that this is a valid place for good information, but now I’m having second thoughts.

  24. by Anna

    On June 8, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    I am an adoptive mother and I’ve also rescued two dogs but really how can you even compare them both?? If I could afford to, I’d adopt a child again and again because in the end my children will likely take after Mommie’s love for animals and someday they’ll rescue dogs as well. Children grow up to be adults and they deserve to be treated with the same value and dignity that we expect to receive from others.

  25. by rebecca

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    i saw both, there r many animals and kids who r needing loving homes to grow up in, an both will enrich ur family in numerous ways, same and different. besides, u dont need to pay a lot to get both seeing as an animal doesnt cost near as much a a child, but the chld will, in the end, be worth more than anyone could ever pay for it, and u dont need to get a baby, get an older child that is already potty trained and old enough to help around the house, just can make life easier

  26. by Kate

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    Are you getting the controvery you desired?

    Sad IMO that you had to resort to this type of “humor” if you want to call it that (and apparently you have a few fans of this brand) But seriously, you want to compare kids and dogs on a parenting magazine site? You had to know it would be disrespectful and arguemenative.

    Hope you are having fun.

  27. by joy

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    To those of you telling us to lighten up…obviously you have never been shocked at the ignorant, uneducated comments that people feel they have the right to say to you in front of the child you adopted. Until you have been in that situation please do not tell us to lighten up. I have wiped the tears of a child who has been made to feel like she is different because she is adopted..and most of the time it is something an adult has said. My daughter’s adoption was far different than the day I walked in and adopted our dog.
    My suggestion to you would be to be a tad more sensitive to what you say or write…this would break my daughter’s heart to hear that something so life changing as her adoption would be compared to adopting a dog.

  28. by ReeRee

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    Don’t adopt a child. If you have this many reservations about having another child, just imagine what the child will feel after it gets to you.

  29. by Bonnie

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    I don’t think you should bring a child into a home that does not want him/her completely and without doubt. If you are really comparing children to dogs maybe you shouldn’t have either!!

  30. by Rasha

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    How would you feel if your husband compared you to a dog? How would you feel if he says “my wife whines a lot she nags too much she is messy and is good for nothing she gives me a headache but a dog doesnt do that he is always there for you and loves you no matter what and doesnt get angry at you so I should keep the dog and ditch my wife”

    And to top it off how would your adopted child feel if he reads this one day? You think he would be happy to read that his mother is comparing his life a life that can be a help to many peoples lifes in the future to that of a dogs life who may bring pleasure to one human or 2???

    Please grow up and get educated, in fact I advice you to not adopt a child, I would feel horrible for the child you would have to raise!

  31. by Dani

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    I was blessed enough to have 4 beautiful children. We don’t have any pets mainly because of allergies, but also beacause I don’t want that responsibility. But you’re right that it’s do much cheaper & easier to adopt a pet. Adopting a child is time consuming, expensive & sometimes heartbreaking! With pregnancies sometimes things happen (I’ve had 1 miscarriage) and when you lose a baby it’s devastating. But I can only imagine what it’s like to go through the adoption process & have something go wrong! I know of people who had a birth mom change her mind after the baby was born. A pet is a little more ‘replaceable’ – for lack of a better word.

    Then you get into the raising/caring for stage… A pet can be left alone for hours at a time right away! If you leave a kid under 12 alone for 5 minutes, you risk all sorts of legal trouble. It takes how long to house/litter train a dog or a cat? My kids were 3, 3.5 & 4.5 years old when they were potty trained (working on the 2 yr old now). Kids learn to talk & can tell you what they think – in your language; pets never learn to do that.

    Both pets & kids have their place in your hearts & lives. It’s a matter of where you are now that drives a decision like this. And most of us women who are lucky enough to get pregnant can’t even begin to imagine the thought & work that goes into adoption! As far as making a decision based on responses from total strangers, anyone who thinks you’re serious about that is an idiot!

  32. by Peach

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Stick with the dog…at least it will come with pedigree papers. All of us adoptees are “lemons” when we grow up and ask for the same right as every other citizen to know who we are and obtain our original birth certificate.

  33. by TTwalk

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Some of u people need to adopt a sense of humor…get the dog :-)

  34. by Amp

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    I really hope you didn’t adopt your first. And if you did, I hope you give him back to his real parents who likely love him a lot more, and unconditionally. Then you could get two more dogs.

  35. by Sarah

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    I sure hope you’re kidding… and even if you are, not funny. A child should never be compared to a dog! You obviously shouldn’t have children if you really feel this way… and like some others have stated… no agency would let you adopt if they saw this.
    Time for a reality check. Children are a blessing and a gift. You were once a child and I guess you haven’t changed much in your thinking. I really hope that you have a change of heart and realize how unique and wonderful a child is and what a privilege it is to be a parent.

  36. by Valerie

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    I don’t think the writer is so much comparing children and animals (btw.. humans ARE animals, pelease don’t forget that) as she is saying there is a void in her home that needs to be filled with a living, breathing, feeling creature (human or canine) that can be loved.

    Also.. its called satire.

  37. by Laura

    On June 8, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    Get the dog. You won’t have to send it to college. And they’re truly grateful, unlike a human adoptee (like me).

  38. by Tara

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    As an adoptive parent and a dog owner (who has never compared the two), I implore you not to get either an animal OR a child. You’re clearly not fit.

    Disgusting.

  39. by monica

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    i feel that mommy is not ready for the immediate resonsibility of raising another child and the father does not want to deal with another animal. i say love what you have and discuss this topic at another time. neither of you are agreeing on this topic and one choice of the other could be ill fated.

  40. by T

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    This is so very disturbing, I wish you were not allowed to adopt one child you should not even consider more.

  41. by Virginia

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    At risk of offending someone, this is RIDICULOUS! If you are comparing/debating the two, in my opinion you have NO business adopting anything. Seriously “if you get a lemon” ?!?! That is just terrible. I am not an uptight kind of person, but when it comes to taking care of a human or animal that is serious and life altering for all parties involved (most importantly the child or animal)and shouldn’t be left to popular opinion and it’s definitely not something to joke about. This kinda makes me sick and mad at the same time…ugh!

  42. by Jennifer

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    Wow. I have a great sense of humor – I’m super difficult to offend — but this is pretty bad. As someone above said, until you, as an adoptive parent, wipe our child’s tears for something AWFUL someone says to the person you love most in the world, you probably don’t get it. This is shameful.

  43. by Sasha

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    I am in disbelief that so many readers are taking this so damn seriously. Ever heard of a sense of humor people or sarcasm? Good lord! Your lives must be rather boring without either. If you can’t see the humor in this then I’m sad for you. Parenting a biological child or an adopted child is the most amazing and challenging job in the world, without a sense of humor it could be sometimes grueling. Have a laugh, crack a smile, and enjoy this article for what it is…honest with a bit of sarcastic humor. It definitely made me chuckle, mostly because I didn’t take it 100% seriously. Lighten up!

  44. by mommaj

    On June 8, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    I have 3 kids and 1 rescue dog. I love all 4 and have a GREAT sense of humor, even can be a bit sarcastic at times. I understand all of that. My house is hectic and crazy. Toddlers and teenagers are a wild mix. I have a 14, 12, and 2 yr old. I wonder what your husband thinks of all of this? Did you share it with him. I mean seriously, trips to Vegas??? Yea I would go too BUT my FAMILY comes first. There’s nothing saying you can’t have fun when you have kids. Or dogs. BUT SERIOUSLY??? To compare the two?? If you don’t want another child, fine! If he don’t want another rescue, fine too! Neither should be done until BOTH of you are 100% on the same page. End of story! It really does make you look horrible though. I mean, yes, I’ve joked about taking my kids to work and having the dumpster out back be the babysitter. They could stay entertained for hours with boxes and there’s bound to be food for them. Funny HA HA. It was a joke. Cosby joked about how he brought them in to this world and could take them out. Again, funny ha ha. But seriously? To compare the two and to say what you said about the cons of adopting another child? Do you have no heart for the adopted? Here they have already been “unwanted” once or maybe lots before and you are gonna sit there and talk about why having a child is so bad?? You have only been a parent, what a year? I understand that’s not enough to really learn much but have you not bonded and reaped any benefits of being a mother? A mom? It sounds like you are regretting the decision to adopt the first time. You have not the experience of a mother yet to even kid around with something like this. If you can’t see the benefits of being a mom, don’t joke like you are one. So as far as taking this seriously or the need to lighten up, I think those saying that need to stop and think for a minute. We are talking about a HUMAN LIFE!!! A DOG’S LIFE!! Both should be taken seriously. Coming from someone who doesn’t have much experience about parenting either one, I wouldn’t dare to do anything but think you are heartless or perhaps ignorant!! I hope your husband reads every last bit of all of this too!!!!!!!!!

  45. by Marie

    On June 9, 2011 at 12:33 am

    I would say the child but considering who you are, you shouldn’t have either. I really feel sorry for your adopted child. What kind of mother are you if you have only had him for such a short time and already look at him like a chore? Joking or not!

  46. by Meigan

    On June 9, 2011 at 12:47 am

    I do not have children but I will say that I would agree with your husband. Take note I am huge animal lover (my husband calls me mother Teresa for all the rescued animals I home) but if I was able to have children or afford adopting a child I would over an animal. You can always adopt a dog after your child grows and can have a dog of their own. If you have an opportunity and I very willing husband to adopt a child you should take that opportunity to give a child a home and family. Plus when kids are sick they can tell you where they hurt or what is wrong and also show sincere affection with not just actions but actual words. I’m sure you didn’t mean for people to take this seriously but you can never guess how people will take things serious and hit a nerve. I myself am not offended but I can see how some people can get offended. I hope the few comments do not make you feel so bad that you feel you are not fit for adoption or having another child. You will be blessed if you do and will wonder why you even debated between the two. Good luck :)

  47. by Terri Soja

    On June 9, 2011 at 3:00 am

    Children and animals both need love. To those who think that an animals life is less important, I feel sorry for you. I have a child, I adore him. I also have 3 dogs and do rescue and adore them also.

  48. by Chris T.

    On June 9, 2011 at 5:58 am

    This article isn’t funny. Really. And I do have a fab sense of humor. It sounds like something an immature adolescent would write. I love dogs, and I love kids. And I’m adopted, but I really don’t think that’s the reason I find this article dumb – it just IS dumb. And the pic of a big ole pit bull licking your baby on the mouth while you’re laughing in the background and your baby is looking uncomfortable isn’t funny either.

  49. by Tracy

    On June 9, 2011 at 6:12 am

    You asked, so I’ll answer. Don’t adopt a child. I’ve read a few of your articles on adoption now and I just don’t see where you are a good fit to be an adoptive mother at all. The question of who would be getting a lemon is a little more up in the air than you seem to realize. That adoptive child is stuck with YOU for….how long?

    As an adoptive parent myself, your glib off the cuff jokes are offensive and rude and hurtful. You obviously don’t realize the rude comments that parents who adopt a child frequently face. Would you appreciate your husband writing an article about whether to “keep my wife or keep the family dog – after all the dog is loyal and doesn’t talk too much and doesn’t spend all his time in a vain attempt to look good” ?

    Get the dog.

  50. by j

    On June 9, 2011 at 6:59 am

    @Terri…sorry but you got this one wrong. A child’s life is by far way more important than a dog. Oh my..this has been a horrifying eye opener to me that people would even compare the two and actually say that their dog was as important as their child. You may love a dog but I sure if you had to pick if you kept your dog or or child the reality of your statement would hit you. This article and many of the statements just makes me so sad.

  51. by Mary

    On June 9, 2011 at 7:13 am

    It’s bad enough that adoptees are treated like commodities to be bought and sold like a Coach purse, and the wants/needs of adoptive parents always trump what’s best for the child, and that adoptees don’t have equal rights to their birth records that every other American enjoys… the attitude of this article is adding insult to the injury we live with every day.

    The author is a shallow, self-centered piece of crap and if their first child is adopted, the author is also proof that adoptive parent’s are not screened carefully enough!

  52. by Sunny

    On June 9, 2011 at 7:31 am

    So, young women are PRESSURED to give up their children (usually because they lack resources) for infertile women who are this shallow?

    Your potential adopted child will lose (forever) their heritage, their mother and entire family, and their history!

    Here’s a news flash to the adopters: we have more emotional range than dogs. We don’t like being adopted. We long for our mothers. We NOTICE that nothing IS as it should be. Please, don’t rescue us.

    Best thing for you to do is to throw your baby-buying money toward a charity that helps mothers keep their children–as nature intended.

    There’s a Lab with your name on it, go get him.

  53. by Blanche Ferrar

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:00 am

    there is absolutely no comparison (of course) Having adopted 6 children & fostered 47 over the years versus the numerous dogs(cats,reptiles & such) adopted and fostered–both have their merits but the joy of being parents to a child who needs us is by far the superior choice. The future is THE CHILDREN> but if there is not strong feeling of the need & want to adopt a child the boundless love and affection and patience and time for children on the part of the mother especially forget it–you certainly won’t be the mother a Human Child needs, so forget adopting a child—-opt for the easier way–get a dog. that by the way it is also the selfish way remember that a dog’s life usually is only 12-20 years–the love of a child will be with you for a life time. and may I say,— facetiously—the dog or dogs will not take care of you in your old age!!!!

  54. by Lillie

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:06 am

    I don’t think your little conundrum is ridiculous, I think YOU are ridiculous. This is just disgusting. As an adoptee, I am deeply offended by this piece of garbage. It is not cute, funny, or even mildly amusing. It makes me feel ashamed. Shame on you, you are not fit to adopt anything.

  55. by Adalia Peace

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:17 am

    First off, to people who are all offended – it’s a reasonable argument. Use your brains for ten seconds rather than your emotions. Too many parents rely 100% on their emotions and never consider the reasoning behind an argument.

    The question is, do you have the capacity to handle another child? Can you deal with added years of diapers, and little ones begging for candy and throwing tantrums, and attitude-ridden teenagers? If you believe you can handle another child, adopt another baby. Too many people focus on animals’ plights more than orphaned children’s plights, and it upsets me. If you can handle the baby, adopt the baby.

    If, on the other hand, you don’t think you have the mental or emotional capacity to add another baby to your life, adopt the dog. It won’t do a baby any good to be adopted by a mother who is constantly frazzled and at her wits’ end (and possibly screaming with rage at every annoyance because of it) because she took on a second child that she couldn’t truly focus on.

    It’s all a matter of whether or not you would be ready to be a mother to another child right now. If you don’t think you’re ready, adopt the dog, then maybe go back and adopt a second child a few years from now, when you’d be more capable of handling it. =)

  56. by Adalia Peace

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:23 am

    To Rasha, quoth:
    How would you feel if your husband compared you to a dog? How would you feel if he says “my wife whines a lot she nags too much she is messy and is good for nothing she gives me a headache but a dog doesnt do that he is always there for you and loves you no matter what and doesnt get angry at you so I should keep the dog and ditch my wife”

    That’s not the same thing at all. She isn’t considering trading in her kid for a dog, she’s keeping the kid she has. If her husband had thought before they’d gotten married “You know, marriage might suck, I think I’ll get a dog instead,” it would’ve bothered her but she’d have gotten over it. If he wasn’t ready for marriage, he wasn’t ready. If she’s not ready for another baby, she isn’t ready.

    I knew the moment I saw the title of this article that people were going to be raging about it. Get the hell over it. I have two young children and I love them with all my heart, but I would rather get a dog right now than have another baby. I’m not ready for another baby yet, but I would be ready for a dog. I still say that this is a valid argument.

  57. by yadira s

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:24 am

    As an adopted child myself, I found this post very offensive. For those saying to take it lightheartedly or that dogs are like some people’s children, I recommend biting your tongue if you yourself are not adopted or gone through the adoption experience yourself. For those that want children, to love a child that is not “your own” is a difficult thing to accept and do. I grew up with dogs and Very sad when they pass especially after years of companionship. But how dare people ever compare the adoption of a domesticated animal and a human being. I am thankful I am where I am today. I am truly blessed. I have loving brothers and sisters that are biological children to my parents. They have never treated me different. To adopt a child is truly a lifetime commitment. You must learn to love her unconditionally, protect when helpless as a child, be responsible for their well-being, education, teaching between right, wrong morally, ethically, teach them and instill in them values, etc. A dog, is a companion. Loves you back always. You teach it how to be potty trained and well behaved and that is all. The feeling of being compared to a dog. ?? Dumbfounded. PS: she should get a dog if she must ask.

  58. by Natalie

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:27 am

    Your husband’s right. It’s a ridiculous comparison. Also, if you don’t both want another child then you shouldn’t have one.

  59. by Sheena

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Well my goodness! I am LOVING the debate this is sparking in some people!

    First off, I find it humourous that some people are hating you for comparing humans to dogs. At the other end of the spectrum, some people treat their dogs like humans! Ha, ha, ha…. That’s a helathy giggle by the way, not a laugh in anyone’s face.

    I think you have made up your mind for the time being. If you are both in agreement to adopt “something”, then maybe hold off a little until the baby/puppy fever subsides!

    Ever consider a monkey? It’s kind of a pet and a kid! Although, if you throw him in the closet while he whines, he’ll leave a streak of poo everywhere and that can be messy. Just make sure it’s not the linen closet ;)

    Good luck!

  60. by Maria

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:46 am

    As an adoptive mother, I find this offensive. I hope you adopt the dog so you don’t ruin a child’s life with your courseness and insensitivity.

  61. by Sheri

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Love this!!! Totally siding with adopting a dog…I just did this in my mind too…deciding between having another child (would be number 3) and adopting another dog (would be number 3)…I went with the dog

  62. by Missy

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:48 am

    There are so many people already waiting to adopt a child, go for the dog and let someone that truly wants a child, recieve one.

  63. by Birdie

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Get the dog. You aren’t fit to be an adoptive parent. This callous and insensitive “article” is proof positive of that. Humor blogging is one thing, but comparing raising a child who has suffered the trauma of breaking from their family of origin to picking a dog up at the pound is nothing short of disgusting.

  64. by Simone

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:09 am

    It seems to me that your husband wants kids more than you do. Maybe you should concidere a new husband, one that doesn’t want kids and can go to Vegas on a whim. I’ll take your husband and as many kids as he want to adopt.
    You should not adopt another baby you are obviously not ready for kids!

  65. by Amanda

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:16 am

    As an adult adoptee, I’m honestly quite offended by this article. And if you’re not adopted, I don’t expect people to understand WHY it is offensive. Adoption is often spoken of in terms of how an adopted child can benefit the family that they are adopted into. It OUGHT to be that adoption is spoken of as to how the family can benefit the child. It is not the job of children to make a family better or complete–especially not adopted children who have lost so much. They have lost their original family, identity, and heritage, to name a few.

    While a family pet might make the family better, adoptees should not be spoken about on the same level.

    I don’t expect everyone to understand the paradoxes in our community but please don’t chide an adopted person for expressing offense when you don’t even know what it is like to be adopted.

    Besides that, can no one really imagine what it is like to be adopted and read something where animal adoption and child adoption are given EQUAL consideration?

  66. by Heidi

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:18 am

    I get that this was supposed to be humor, but it’s poor judgment at best. At worst, it’s callous and gross. And I’m disappointed in Parents magazine for printing it as much as for you as thinking it’s fit to be published. I can’t imagine your child, or a birth parent who placed with you ever reading this and finding any humor. Funny isn’t funny when it mocks and degrades, which is what this does. I hope you have the sense to issue a retraction and apology. If not, just get the dog.

  67. by Amanda

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:23 am

    And to those who may be confused, adoption is not what people make it seem. There are over 120,000 children in the U.S. foster care system who are legally cleared for adoption, and are waiting for the benefits that can be provided by a loving family.

    It is FREE to adopt from foster care.

  68. by Marta

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:52 am

    This post is disgusting. As an adopted person, I take offense that you portray adoption this way. If you’re worried about being stuck with a “lemon” then please, don’t adopt any more children.

  69. by Jordan

    On June 9, 2011 at 9:59 am

    I’m so appalled by this that I’m having difficulty finding the right words. The ‘wrong’ words are no trouble, though, so maybe I’ll just go with them….

    Nicole, if you were my adoptive mother, I would run away from you the first chance I got and never look back. You are a selfish, vapid woman, and should be barred from ever adopting another child.

    Have you considered what message it gives your child when you advocate for adopting a dog because it’s cheaper than adopting a child? Can you understand that bargain shopping for an adoptable child turns that child into a commodity, much like a purse, car, or refrigerator? You are assigning a monetary value to children, turning them into possessions.

    And what if you DO get, in your words, “a lemon”?? Will you ask for your money back? Will you try to return or exchange the child for a “better” one? Do you understand that this is an actual human being???

  70. by Debip

    On June 9, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Who is dumber…..You are both, soulless idiots…you both win

  71. by Jennifer

    On June 9, 2011 at 10:46 am

    This is ridiculous! I have a great sense of humor, but the first thing I actually found funny enough to laugh out loud at is Jordan’s comment above that if you were her mother she would run away the first chance she got. I appreciate that you are TRYING to be funny, but this is plain stupid & I can’t believe that so many people wasted their energy on this topic. You don’t deserve to be allowed to adopt…some people were not meant to be parents & you obviously fall into that category. It’s a shame that psychiatric counseling is not required before adults can become parents (adoptive OR biological, for that matter). A person with your values should stick with raising dogs…if they will have you! LOL

    Oh, and shame on Parents for even letting you post this…most of us would rather read something with a little more class!

  72. by Matt

    On June 9, 2011 at 10:46 am

    This post is extremely disturbing, even if it is intended to be nothing more than a joke. I strongly suggest that you read “The Primal Wound” by Nancy Verrier and “The Girls Who Went Away” by Ann Fessler in order to educate yourself about the ugly realities of adoption.

  73. by kimberly

    On June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am

    aaawww idk but i love the dog in the pic =-) big pitbull fan lol

  74. by Laurel

    On June 9, 2011 at 11:59 am

    You are perfectly correct, the whole conversation is ridiculous. I’m quite certain that it was one of those lighthearted conversations between a husband and wife, with no real malice meant as it was spoken. And because the conversation was cute, you thought it would make a cute blog article.

    It’s too bad though that within the lighthearted conversation there were key things said that are inexcusable and not tollerated when heard by other people. There is a good portion of adopted people who find the term adoption when used in other circumstances completely offensive. Adopting a pet versus adopting a person are completely differenct acts and comparing just isn’t cool.

    As a mother who relinquished my child for adoption, I find it repulsive when the phrase unwanted children is used. My child was desperately wanted and because of life circumstances I wasn’t able to. The not being able to raise my child doesn’t take away how wanted my child was.

    Finally, the casual reference to what if either the child or the pet is a lemon is just the complete icing on the cake of offensive. In a world where unadopting is becoming commonplace, and where resentful adoptive parents is commonplace… it breaks my heart to think that my child may have ended up with someone who resents my child for being who they are.

    I personally the dumb comes into question about whether this article should have ever been posted.

  75. by Lillie

    On June 9, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Why don’t we just replace the word “dog” in this article with “white baby” and the “second child” to “black baby.”

    I wonder if anyone would be laughing then?

    Because this really is no different.

  76. by Birdie

    On June 9, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Another thought regarding your “lemon” comment. Do you have any idea the psychological suffering an adoptee goes through feeling as though they must be perfect for their adoptive parents for fear they may be rejected and abandoned again? Even when their parents never actually voice this fear (to them, let alone millions on the internet) it is ever present.

    If you doubt that, feel free to see my husband’s therapy bills or take a read of any of the many many many valuable books and resources available about being adopted.

    It appears prospective adoptive parents can be “lemons” as well.

    I truly hope this post is retracted and an apology is issued because I can tell you, if not I’m canceling my long term subscription to Parents Magazine.

  77. by Nancy

    On June 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Pass me the puke bucket.

  78. by suzi

    On June 9, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    please please please adopt a dog, if you are actually having this argument, you don’t want a child enough. children deserve to be desperately wanted by BOTH parents. This is incredibly insensitive to all parents who have adopted children to even write or publish this post.

  79. by Mary

    On June 9, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    TO ALL THOSE TELLING ADOPTEES/ADOPTIVE PARENTS TO LIGHTEN UP: Shame on you. How dare you tell us what should and should not offend us. We’ve been handed that crap all of our lives. “Don’t be curious about your genetics… don’t be upset you were given up… those emotions make OTHERS uncomfortable so therefore you have no right to them.”

    Humor that demeans and hurts others is not funny. If you choose to laugh at it, then good for you for not having the horrible experiences that would cause you to take it personally, like we have.

  80. by Jane Edwards

    On June 9, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Adopt a dog. If you get tired of it, you can euthanize it. With kids that’s so easy.

  81. by Gina Miller

    On June 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    This post is sickening. I am an adult adoptee, and was considered a “lemon” by my adopters. How dare you speak of a child, a human being, as though you were picking out a new cell phone. Hmm, do we want motorola, or an LG? Adoption is a crime against children. It is ancestricide, and the adopted child is stuck with YOU. So you are trying to decide which commodity is best to fill your needs. Please, go with the dog. It is the least of two evils

  82. by adopted female

    On June 9, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    You’re to ignorant to adopt another child, one because you’re to ignorant to the fact that a humans childslife is much more important than a dog, and two you’re oblivious to the hurt and pain comments life you made hurt adopted children. I would hope you neevr show this to youre adopted child, and maybe readup on adoption and how it effects a child. and you compared a child to a lemon i feel like saying some very unnice things to you but i am not going to. get a dog dont ruin another childs life.

  83. by Torrejon

    On June 10, 2011 at 4:45 am

    I love a good joke as much as anyone, but adopting a child is not a laughing matter. I think Parents magazine should do a better job of filtering posts like this.

  84. by Erimentha

    On June 10, 2011 at 5:24 am

    I have a good sense of humour and a pretty thick skin but as an adoptee, I find this article revolting and highly offensive. I don’t care if it is meant to be a joke – it’s not funny on any level. If it is not a joke, that is even worse.

  85. by Daniel Ibn Zayd

    On June 10, 2011 at 7:24 am

    To note is that these so-called parents only compare their own action as having any worth, or merit, or value in this discussion. Avoided in the discussion are the results of this action, no matter how destructive for others, including the children they adopt. To use the word “adopt” for a dog as well as a child reveals your complete inability to remove your sense of entitlement from the equation. Adopting a dog does not result in the destruction of that animal’s family, community, or place of origin. It does not rob that animal of its language, culture, or history. It does not result in the dog’s yearning to return to its original place, or source, or family. Most ironic is that most dogs come with more awareness of this origination–in terms of pedigree, and AKC papers, and genealogical lineage–than most adopted children who are unable to access their original birth certificates, or are given completely false information that was used to export them from their country of origin. To speak of these equally reveals the disgusting level we have reached when those who simply by virtue of their class position are able to objectify everything else on the planet as revolving around their precious lives that they then see fit to force the rest of the world to read on obnoxious blogs such as this one. Having returned to my country of birth seven years ago and after attempting to make up for the likes of you on this planet, I can honestly say now that I don’t think it is possible for there to be more shame in what you have done; and I do not think there is enough Hell for you to suffer in.

  86. by Zox

    On June 10, 2011 at 9:02 am

    What the hell is wrong with you?!?!

    You’ve never wanted to leave your dog in a closet when he’s whining… since that is a ‘pro’ for the dog, then are you saying that when your son is whining, you are tempted to lock him in a closet? Really? Anyone who has ever had kids knows that sometimes they can be just too much to handle, but the blatantly CASUAL way that you just happen to mention that you have wanted to lock your son in a closet is horrible.

    Your comments about a dog that’s a ‘lemon’ vs. a child that’s a ‘lemon’ are indicative of everything that is wrong with the adoption industry in America today. Children are not lemons. They’re human beings. Adoption isn’t about finding a baby for a family, it’s about finding a family for a baby. If you adopted and decided that a child was a ‘lemon,’ then chances are, your FAMILY is the lemon.

    I can’t believe the blatant, unadulterated disrespect this article has for adoptees. Too many people forget that we are HUMAN BEINGS first, not little play things or pets.

    This is disgusting.

  87. by Nicole Dorsey

    On June 10, 2011 at 9:09 am

    For all those #dog lovers out there, and to all those #child adoption responders out there, keep the conversation going! Amazing to see how much rage and also amusement (thanks for getting it!) that my posts instill. Isn’t it OK to be first an #animal lover? Is it ever OK to love my dog more than my child, even if it’s for 10 seconds? Tell me what you think!

  88. by Zox

    On June 10, 2011 at 9:21 am

    And to all of the posters who are saying ‘lighten up’ and ‘have a sense of humor,’ I say this – This isn’t funny.

    To those of you who are trying to make it sound less horrendous by making it about her ability to parent and her deep, inner thoughts and readiness to take on another child, you must not have been reading the same article I was.

    Had this woman posted a serious piece about why she isn’t ready to take on another child in the home and really delved into the topic with respect and human decency, then I wouldn’t be so angry. Being ‘ready’ to adopt a canine and not ready to adopt a human is a completely understandable position to take… But there were blatantly offensive remarks in her piece that really trigger adoptees specifically.

    Belittling people and making fun of them is NOT funny. I accept that it was most likely not intentional, but when people comment with the express purpose of invalidating the feelings and reactions of an entire community of people, you compound the problem.

    I live in a society where adoptees are constantly invalidated and told to shut up and be grateful. I will NOT just ‘shut up’ when I’m told to lighten up and laugh about it as well.

  89. by Stef

    On June 10, 2011 at 9:52 am

    words fail me.

  90. by Allison

    On June 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

    I will be canceling my subscriptions to Parents and Fitness. I can’t believe any reputable company would choose this woman to represent them.

  91. by Zox

    On June 10, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Ms. Dorsey,

    You think it’s FUNNY that you’ve effectively degraded an entire population of people? You are one sick individual. I am no longer full of rage, but I do pity you. Obviously you are incapable of human empathy.

    Most of all, I feel incredibly sorry for the child already in your care and I pray that he will find a way to escape the damage that having a cold, unfeeling and uncaring mother can inflict.

  92. by cheryl

    On June 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

    I’ve read so many times (to many to count) where people ask a question in an adoption forum and are basically told “adopt a pet” (by some of the very same people commenting here) yet this writer, writes a satirical piece about that very idea and people are outraged.

    Satire: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn.

  93. by Susan

    On June 10, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    Even in satire or a joking tone, this is just sad. I hate the comparison btw adopting a child and a dog. This sort of “humor” makes me ill. Period.

  94. by yadira s

    On June 10, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    wow, Nancy. I really am amazed by your response to all of these posts. do you actually think you’ve actually succeeded in making an interesting blog post that has sparked such a conversation? You haven’t touched a topic, what you have done is offended hundreds. You can’t even acknowledge that you’ve offended more than half of those that have responded. The least you could have done would be to address that and have empathy. Instead you continue to redicule and even laugh at what you have done. Perhaps you should continue writing ignorant and offensive posts to your blog so that people would actually read them and comment on them, unlike every other one of your posts… you know, satirically speaking. I truly feel sorry for your husband and child. I just pray that 2 out of 3 didn’t get your sick humor and absence of empathy.

  95. by yadira s

    On June 10, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    *I apologize, I meant Nicole, not Nancy! My above comment was meant for Nicole the author of this post.

  96. by JLS

    On June 11, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    How truly offensive. Seriously, “if you get a lemon you only have to keep them 10 years, but with a child…”??? Can you not even see how hurtful that is?? I’m all for “dark humor” or whatever, but this is so beyond that. This is NOT funny! I can’t even start to understand WHY you would write this post. Just no more words, except…please get a dog.

  97. by Eliana

    On June 11, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    This piece is extremely offensive, “a Lemon”, or, ” putting a child or dog in the closet when whining” and the trips to Vegas sentence, offensive is to light of a word to describe this piece. As a mother coerced and pressured to do the loving in the best interests of my baby act of adoption, this is just more proof of the selfish,entitlement attitudes, and complete disregard to what’s really best for a child. This makes me even more sad to see this kind of thinking as it does represent pap’s and ap’s. Absolutely no empathy absolutely no compassion I feel sorry for the child that is already with you, please brush up on the realities, this subject isn’t something that should be taken so lightly and carelessly as you have presented,Shame on you, because of this piece many many many are canceling their subscriptions especially now that we know your line of thinking.

  98. by darrin

    On June 13, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Darrin here. The husband. Whatever your opinion about this topic, know this: Nicole is a wonderful, loving, caring, attentive mother (to both our child and our dog). Personally, I think it’s legitimate to have this conversation. To the haters (adopted kids and adoptive parents) I say this to you: C-H-I-L-L out. Do you actually think we lock Sam in a closet when he’s bad? (It’s actually the laundry room…) That said, even if we are occasionally cruel to him (we are!) he is still a well-adjusted, happy kid. We do daily “family hugs” which was initiated by Sam about a year or so ago. We will most likely get a dog because there is not nearly the amount of energy or commitment as a child would be. That will be a continuing conversation between us as we explore the options (we’ve been to a number agencies and taken a 3 hour training through City of Los Angeles). BTW, it’s not as polarizing as Nicole lays it out. She wants to adopt a child as well). It’s a matter of time, cost, commitment, and really trying to figure out if we, overall, want to adopt a child. This is the reason we haven’t done this yet. I’ll leave you with this: “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andrew A. Rooney

  99. by Lisa Elia

    On June 13, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    This is one of the reasons you are so loved as a writer. Your sense of humor. On the other hand, I have made this comparison myself at times.

    Of course, I hope that people know you’re joking about the closet, etc. You’re one of the best moms I know.

  100. by nicole Dorsey

    On June 13, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    I think it’s REALLY cute that my husband Darrin is protecting me from the most violent criticisms here. I say, bring it on, let’s start the conversation, but Darrin is my savior, as always. Thanks, hon.

  101. by Melissa

    On June 14, 2011 at 8:58 am

    First, we all get that parenting can be frustrating. The joke is neither fresh nor innovative – satire fail. Next, the reason so many people are not chilling out,nor should they feel compelled to “chill out,” is because of how offensive this piece of satire is about people in the adoption triads lives. Placing mothers face the biggest loss any woman could ever face – the loss of her child. Those “thousands of unwanted children” were most likely wanted prior to being in a circumstance that is allowing to them to be adopted. In the U.S., if these children were unwanted the mother had the choice of aborting. The children who end up in foster adoption are there because their own parents could not handle the frustrations of which you make light, or the parents could not manage their lives in other areas. Feel real proud of yourself for making light of that. Next, children should not be compared to lemons – um yikes! Next, there are many people who would do anything to be a parent, where you seem ambivalent about this opportunity. I have never been ambivalent. However, fertility and finances have not afforded me the opportunity to become a parent. So, forgive some of us as we lick our wounds from the sting of you satirical piece. We will continue to eat cake, Marie, and wish you well on your quest.

  102. by Heidi

    On June 14, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I think the cry to “chill out” is a cop out. It doesn’t work when people have been degrading to other races or sexes or other things, so just because this is supposed to be humor, doesn’t give it a free pass, nor does “chill out” do anything to enlighten the discussion. I would HIGHLY encourage you both, Nicole and Darren, to listen carefully, without dismissing, why what you though was funny and publishable, missed the mark greatly and caused hurt to so many people. Humor is great, loving dogs is great, seriously discussing whether to adopt another child is great. The way it was presented here was neither funny nor great. I hope that you “get” that.

  103. by Eliie

    On June 14, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    I realize it is tres au courant in the blogosphere to be flip about any of life’s issues, trivial or not, but some things should be sacred….

    Welcome to the culture of Reality TV.

    And Mary, FWIW,

    “Humor that demeans and hurts others is not funny. If you choose to laugh at it, then good for you for not having the horrible experiences that would cause you to take it personally, like we have.”

    This, was EXACTLY the point of many of the offended posters. Thank you for making it so clearly. Too bad you don’t comprehend your own wisdom…

  104. by Laura

    On June 15, 2011 at 10:31 am

    SHAME ON YOU and SHAME on Parent’s magazine’s editors for allowing this to even be considered for publication. If you want to express your opinion then fine. Do it somewhere else. Heaven forbid that this is read by adoptees of ANY age. As an adoptive parent I agree that you do not have the emotinoal maturity to enter into any adoptive situation if you are willing to air your sarcasm. Potential adoptive parents throw this and your subscription into the garbage can.

  105. by Caroline

    On June 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Darrin and Nicole,

    We are NOT “adopted kids”. I’m sure all of the adoptee posters are above the age of 18. We are adult adoptees.

    Sorry you can’t breed properly.

  106. by Erimentha

    On June 17, 2011 at 12:00 am

    Darrin and Nicole, perhaps you could try putting yourself in the shoes of the people who are so outraged by your pathetic attempts at humour rather then just dismissing us and telling us to chill out. Your comparison of children to dogs is not only not funny, it is demeaning to those of us who were adopted as children. You don’t deserve a dog or a child if you think they are interchangeable and if you have so little empathy for people around you.

  107. by Rose

    On June 23, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    It’s obvious from a lot of the comment that this attempt at satire has backfired big time.
    The decent thing to do would be to acknowledge the hurt and offence caused to so many (whether inadvertantly or not) and apologise.
    Surely that is not too hard to do…

  108. by Zox

    On June 23, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    And if some white supremacist decided to write a ‘humorous’ satire piece full of degrading racist comments, would that be okay to, Darrin? I mean, it is HUMOR after all… Who cares if you completely degrade an entire population of people as long as you and your horrible wife get a good laugh out of it.

    Shame, you almost sounded like an admirable husband until you made a joke out of being cruel to your own child and locking him in a laundry room. How can you make ‘jokes’ out of things like that when there are kids out there who ARE treated in such a deplorable manner? And how can you sit here trying to invalidate the voices of ADULT adoptees by referring to them as ‘children’ and telling them to C-H-I-L-L?

    I find it hard to believe that your wife isn’t a cold, unfeeling, uncaring mother if she doesn’t even bat an eyelash at the sheer multitude of adoptees telling her that her idea of ‘humor’ is offensive and incredibly hurtful.

    I repeat, I pray to GOD that your own child escapes the damage that having parents who think his pain is FUNNY can inflict.

  109. by Riley

    On August 6, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Wow, are moms never allowed to get frustrated?

    It’s not like she puts her whining child in the closet. And it’s not like kids aren’t prone to whining.

    Kudos for being honest that parenting is hard work.

    I think there are some very easily offended people out there. Would there be a different attitude if she were the biological mom admitting that neither she nor her kids are perfect?

    Man’s best friend is not a whining 3 year old for a reason, even if they can be sweet and parents love their kids no matter what.

    Seriously, allow the author to be honest (and funny) and love her dog as much as her kid. I certainly do. My beasts are my babies too, and I love them all, even though every single one of them can drive me a little crazy once in a while too.

  110. by Nicole Dorsey

    On August 7, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Thanks, Riley, ditto what she said! (Where were you when I needed you back in June?!?!? Hee)

  111. by reamay

    On August 10, 2011 at 3:03 am

    Choosing between a dog or a child can really be tricky at times. Having any of the two means a great responsibility…

    I adore dogs and actually have two who are family to me. In fact, I immediately panic seeing them lose some interest sometimes, such that I would call up my mom for some advice and who would later tell me to bring my dogs to the vet.

    I still don’t have a baby because I am still single. But I’ve already been thinking of adopting a baby.

  112. by jompoula

    On January 29, 2012 at 6:52 am

    you will like chanel leather handbags suprisely

  113. by John Phoenix

    On September 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    I say if you want a dog, go buy a dog or get one from the SPCA. Don’t use pet adoption agencies. Pet adoption agencies place restrictions on how you can care for the pet, like giving away the pet to another good home if you for some reason can’t keep it or declawing the cat if you must to save your furniture or perhaps from the bad habits of a cat who likes to terrorize your child. These companies have the nerve to make you sign a legally binding contract that gives them full control over the pet even though you keep it in your home. That’s not adoption, it’s a scam for control freaks. I don’t need to sign my rights as a pet owner over to someone else. I love my pets and it’s none of their damn business how I care for them. making someone sign a pet adoption contract is very insulting to the intelligence and loving heart of the pet owner.

  114. by John Phoenix

    On September 30, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    I also want to reply to this adopt a pet vs a child issue. All those getting upset about this are being silly. There are many reasons why a pet would be better off in a home than a child would. Perhaps financial constraints play a factor. The pet is much cheaper to care for. The pet and owner can provide much love for each other. Many times women get pregnant simply because they want someone to love them. They wind up making horrible mothers. There is no requirement that you Must raise a child. I have no kids, ( shooting blanks) but can’t afford a kid anyway. Suits me fine. I have more time and money to do the things that are important to me. If raising a child is important to you, go for it, but don’t sit there on your high horse and look down at those of us with different ideas about how life should be. That said, when I was a young man I did have a wife and step son. I raised this boy for 5 years and loved him as my own. His biological father wanted nothing to do with him. Wife and step son were killed in a car accident. That was over 20 years ago. Took me years to get over that loss. You people need to get a grip and let people live how is best for them.

  115. by Nicole Dorsey

    On October 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    John,

    I really appreciate your honesty and thoughfulness. I’m going to post your letter if that’s ok with you! Nicole