Just Say No
Kids ask for so much -- and it's tempting to give in to keep the peace. But a good parent has to be the bad guy sometimes.
Pages in this story
- The Importance of "NO"
- Setting Limits
- Can I Please Have It?
- Crowd Control
- Losing Sleep
If you had a dollar for every time your child has asked for something, you'd have enough money to fund a presidential campaign, right? We all hate to see our kids unhappy (or spiraling into a major meltdown), so all too often we take the path of least resistance and give in. But the truth is, you'll do your child a big favor by saying "no" more frequently. "Saying no teaches children important lessons -- how to deal with disappointment, how to argue, how to prioritize, and how to strike a balance between work and play -- which are essential experiences that aren't always taught in school," says social psychologist Susan Newman, PhD, author of The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It -- and Mean It -- and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. "Kids who understand that they can't always have their way will be more likely to be successful in school, relationships, and their careers." Here are nine situations in which Dr. Newman says you should stand firm -- and how to plan your defense.




Neither the schools nor the adminstration are asking that parents spend more than they can afford, simply that they be cognizant of others feelings when organizing parties. A skill all should be teaching their children anyway. As a mother of 5 and an early childhood teacher for 17 years, I have seen my share of hurt feelings due to a lack of popularity.