Reconnecting with Husband
LS: Some time alone with your spouse can really fill you up for a long time -- one weekend away, or one dinner out. It's not like you need a three-week trip to Europe. That might be nice, but you need to recognize that even a little bit of time can take hold in a strong way inside of you. Time with your husband is a way of putting the family first.
KIRSTEN: My husband and I have done things we never would have done before we had children because we would have thought they were so contrived. Like going to an inn nearby for the night.
ALICIA: Did you enjoy yourself?
KIRSTEN: Absolutely. You feel bad that you're leaving your kid, but there's nothing more important than doing things that keep you healthy as a person and as a couple. I know that from experience, because my father is an alcoholic and my parents are divorced. When they got divorced, I was 11 and my sisters were older. But they were very frank with us. The split was about their own relationship being wrong, and it was about their own self-esteem. My sisters and I haven't had any of the problems that they had, and I credit them with that. They were good parents.
DEBORAH: My parents got divorced when I was 10, and we went to live with our dad. We all turned out okay, but I remember crying my eyes out over the fact that my mom wasn't there. Now that I have two kids, I can't even fathom the thought of leaving. To me, keeping the marriage together is the most important thing if you really want to do what's right for your children.
LS: Looking at it another way, your parents struggled and they let you know. They did something that felt like a healthy decision for them. I think you reaped the benefits of that.