New Moms Tell It Like It Is

Living in the Moment


ALICIA: I analyze myself constantly. But my mother didn't analyze herself. She had six kids and never read any books, and none of us have any problems. My mother just looks at me and shakes her head.

GRETA PETERMAN: We're all high achievers who want everything to be the best it can be.

LIZ: Since I've gone back to work, I worry much less about stuff. I just don't have time. And my son is happy.

AMANDA BEESLEY: I'm a writer, and I stay home and write articles occasionally. Someone comes in to take care of my daughter twice a week so I can take a class. My husband is also a writer, so he's around the house, too. It sounds perfect, but I still can't be happy with it. If I have a day where I just hang out with my daughter and we don't make it outside, I think, Oh, my God, she didn't get any fresh air today. If she cries a lot one day, I feel like I've blown it. I would love to know if anybody has figured out how to just enjoy living in the moment with your baby.

CYNTHIA STERN: I'm a photographer, and I work sporadically. So I'm home a lot with my daughter, and I have a full-time nanny. And I still worry. Sometimes my nanny will take Nicole out in the stroller for three hours. Then I get upset because I think that if she's being strolled around all day, she won't learn how to crawl and walk and climb. But before, I'd told the nanny she should take Nicole out a lot. The nanny said, "I don't know what you want me to do."

LS: You basically can't win. On another topic, some of you have mentioned your husbands. Let's talk about having a partner, or not having one, to parent with you.

CYNTHIA: For me, being a single mom is the only thing I know, so it doesn't seem exceedingly difficult. But the hardest part is not having someone there so you can say, "Look what she just did." I want to share all those little things with somebody else.

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