Should I Go Back to Work?
Your work situation can easily top the list of things that spark guilt when you have a baby. "You're guilty that you do want to work, that you don't want to work, that you have to work, and then you feel guilty when you leave your child to go to the job," Berman says.
"What makes me feel most guilty is that although we're in a financial situation where we can afford to have me stay home, I have no desire to," says Kelly Bikel, of Bentonville, Arizona, mother of Eve, 20 months, and Will, 8 months. "I enjoy having time where I don't need to be the one worrying about whether they're doing enough of everything they're supposed to be doing. And although I feel guilty about not wanting to stay home, I do believe that it makes me appreciate the time I have with them more."
If you're struggling with this issue, Berman recommends taking a wait-and-see approach. Whatever you're doing now -- working or not -- doesn't have to be permanent, she says. If you're miserable, you can make a change -- though there may not be a perfect solution. "Sometimes the decision is the better of two imperfect choices," adds Debra Gilbert Rosenberg, author of Motherhood Without Guilt.