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5 Common New-Mom Challenges
"The myth is that nursing comes naturally," says Lisa Spiegel, co-director of Soho Parenting in New York City and co-author of A Mother's Circle: An Intimate Dialogue on Becoming a Mother, with Jean Kunhardt. "But for most women that's just not true. It may finally feel natural after many weeks, but it takes work and practice to get it right." For sure, moms often feel intense pressure from their doctors, friends, and family to nurse their baby. And while the entire medical community recommends breastfeeding for the benefits it offers both mother and child, Spiegel and Kunhardt strongly encourage moms to keep the breast-versus-bottle debate in perspective. "The most important thing is that feedings are comfortable for you and your baby," says Spiegel. In other words: If you're always tense and frustrated while you're nursing, it's not doing anyone any good.
How to cope: If breastfeeding isn't going well, get help from a lactation consultant or another mom who has nursed her kids. "Ask her to come over for a couple of hours to just watch and see what you're doing," says Spiegel. "She may have some suggestions that'll make things better -- or it may help just to know that you're doing everything right and that it will get easier with time." Give yourself the goal of sticking with it for at least a month, since it can take this long to get the timing and positioning down. After that, if you're still frustrated, consider switching to formula.
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raven.... u shouldn't judge, sometimes a women isn't as lucky as you were, obviously, to be able to breastfeed their baby. There are so many situations were some mothers cant and they shouldn't be made feel worse about it than they already do, I'm sure.And being a wuss doesn't have anything to do with it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
3/22/2011 03:30:07 AM Report Abusethere are pleanty of reasons that ppl cant breastfeed. im not goin to breastfeed my son and i dont feel the least bit guilty. there have been plenty of smart and successful ppl that were bottle fed.
3/10/2011 10:37:32 PM Report AbuseAnd yet.... I know of a couple moms who experienced terrible pain every time they nursed their baby. I also know the agonizing defeat of watching my body just dump its milk supply. Pumping can help those who have anything, and yet, moms shouldn't feel guilty if their bodies just can't produce or just can't stand the pain of nursing. Formula is available and should be used by those who need it without guilt, just as I should be able to have C-sections without feeling guilt.
12/30/2010 10:27:51 AM Report Abusei love this article! thank you!
10/20/2010 12:17:03 PM Report Abusei really hope i dont have to feel that way about my spouse, i want to keep our friendship and relationship the same. and if he's trying i will see that and respect that. :)
6/11/2010 11:16:24 AM Report AbuseIf you are stressing yourself out about breastfeeding, or the baby is having trouble latching on, you can always try pumping and then bottle feeding. The result- you are getting the best of both worlds- you still feel you are providing what is best for your new baby, but you aren't stressing yourself out in the process. Everyone has to make the decision for what is best for them and their baby.
4/25/2010 09:40:41 AM Report AbuseNursing is not something that always comes naturally! Even with a lactation consultant & another mom as coach, sometimes baby is too agitated/impatient to learn to nurse & that makes mom anxious/stressed which causes milk to not come down - which makes baby more impatient - vicious cycle! Maybe the best thing for both is to switch to formula so that there CAN be quality bonding time & less stress! No one should judge until they've been in that position themselves.
2/1/2010 09:35:49 AM Report Abusei had trouble breastfeeding with my 1st one, she was a preemie and due to my job and non supportive husband at the time i could not keep up my supply... i felt horrible and like a failure. my second child i was able to breastfeed and successfully for 5 months, that was a blessing... my 3rd on the way i hope to be able to do the same thing. everyone's situation is different yes... but it shouldn't have to be such a stressful thing... been there done that on both sides...
12/13/2009 02:20:42 AM Report Abuseraven... thats bull. not everyone can breastfeed for one reason or another. its rude to even say some crap like that. you dont know everyone's situation! its not cool to have that "better than all" attitude, not knowing that some people can just NOT do it.
12/13/2009 02:13:42 AM Report AbuseMaybe Mommy needs help meeting other responsibilities. She should take advantage of offers, or humbly ask for help from willing friends and family members for help with laundry, cooking, cleaning, running errands or caring for other siblings so she can work with her wee one. She may even have to ask for help, or hire someone for a bit. When all has been tried, and it still is a negative experience, don¿t fight it. Formula, coupled with lots of loving attention, works too.
12/12/2009 02:48:44 PM Report AbuseI actually agree with the article completely about breastfeeding. It would stress me out so much to feed my little girl sometimes that we would both be in tears by the end. It got to the point where I would get anxiety about feeding her. That wasn't good for either of us. I felt guilty about feeding her bottles but it made it possible for me to enjoy feeding her and having a peaceful tender moment with her every few hours.
12/11/2009 10:49:17 PM Report AbuseThat's terrible advice. Breastmilk is not a substitute for formula. It's every baby's birthright. Don't be a wuss, even if it takes longer than a month, is what the advice should be.
12/11/2009 09:54:25 PM Report Abuse