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The Challenges of a Second Child
When my firstborn, Kate, was just over a year old, I was surprised by a second pregnancy (a lovely surprise, but still). And my second daughter, Sara, was born five weeks early. I didn't feel like I had enough time to prepare for mothering two girls just two years apart. And although a lot of my friends now have two kids, when Sara was born, most of them were still only contemplating a second pregnancy, so I felt a little alone.
Everything started off fine, with my husband home from work and my in-laws and parents around to help. It was bittersweet but amazing to watch Kate -- who had been my baby just days earlier -- transform into my big girl. Plus, Sara slept most of the day, so I had quality time to spend with her older sister. I can do this, I thought gratefully.
But after a few weeks, it was like Sara suddenly woke up. And if you weren't holding her, was she mad! Putting her in the bouncer while I tried to read to Kate or take a shower was a nightmare; she'd scream and scream. Having to serve two kids at the same time was just one of the initial challenges of second-time motherhood. My friends and I have identified others here so what we learned can help you too! And here's some reassurance: Things keep getting better as Sara gets older. The girls are now 3 and 1, and I think I'm out of the thickest part of the woods!
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My son will be 5 years old when our next child will be born! The baby could be born on his bday. He is very excited and I asked what he would do if the baby was born on his bday and he said "hold the baby!" :-) It was sweet and I remind him very often of what a great big brother he will be. We talk about things he can do with the baby...for example: read the baby a book, sing lullabies, feed the baby a bottle, and hold the baby.
7/24/2011 11:25:43 PM Report Abusei have a 5 year old and a 3 year old it does get easier with time. Initially though it's kinda crazy but it is all worth it. Now they can play with each other and show concern for each other when the other is sick.
4/21/2011 11:15:53 PM Report AbuseAs a mom of a 2 1/2 yr old daughter and son who's 6 months old, this is really quite helpful. I am anxiously awaiting the day when they can really start to interact and play together though.
4/20/2011 03:14:06 PM Report AbuseMy son will be 13 yrs old when the newest edition is expected to arrive... which is exactly how old I was when my little sister was born. I try to make sure everyday that my son knows how very special he is and what an exciting adventure this will be for the whole family, & what an important role that he will be playing.
4/7/2011 12:28:12 PM Report AbuseDD just turned 4 when DS was born. At the time I was a SAHM and she came to my zillions of prenatal apts. She got pictures of the baby every ultrasound, we read about the she came to the store with me to pick out the going home outfit. She went out shopping with grandma when DS was born and picked out an outfit from just her. A year later there is no jealously. We do try to do things with just her or just him so they both feel special it can be as little as me taking her to the grocery store
2/23/2011 11:50:34 AM Report AbuseOur daughter will have just turned 7 a month before baby girl #2 is born. We're both excited & terrified about this. She's excited about being a big sis finally, but has been an only child for so long, it's going to be a huge adjustment. She also said to me word for word, "this is gonna change me mom"...funny, but so true! She isn't one that likes to share anything, so this is the scary part! I know we will get through it & as the saying goes..."What doesn't kill you, only makes your stronger!"
1/13/2011 12:19:31 AM Report AbuseI found this article to be very helpful. I have a 4 yr old who will be 5 when my next child is born. She is very excited about being a big sister, but I am a little anxious about how she will be when she isn't the baby anymore. She is proud to be a big girl, but she has been the only one for what will be 5 years. So, not being the only child getting all the attention might posse a problem. This article helped me realize, that though it may be tough, we will all get through it!!
1/10/2011 11:19:31 PM Report AbuseNice thought unless your kids are NINE years apart....
5/13/2010 10:17:02 AM Report Abuse