The First Time You Say "No" to Your Baby

I'm all for distracting but they still have to learn no means no. A pop on the hand isn't going to ruin their life and will eventually probably save them from harm or worse. I agree that a lack of calm discipline is one of our current generation's biggest problems...most of them have this sense of entitlement & arrogance that makes me want to "lose it". All children have to find out sooner or later actions have consequences...better sooner!

And for the record.. those of you hitting your innocent children because you can't parent more effectively.... shame on you!

Sorry folks, but I just can't bring myself to hit my kid to get my point across. Look at the ages of the kids these articles are talking about and you want to spank them? I've YET to lay a hand on my 6 month old and he obeys me just fine. Probably because there are consequences for acting up. Those of you who think ignoring doesn't work have NO idea how much your child desires your attention above all things. Ignoring works better than anything.

Continuing as I couldn't post more than just 500 words.............I am a 29 year old single mom and this is my first son. I firmly believe in discipline and do not agree that the government has any say in how we punish our children. Like someone said...There's a difference between punishment such as spanking and down right abuse!

Some of the redirections are actually good, like the example of the rock issue. Instead of stuffing them in his mouth, showing him how to drop them in a bucket is great! But I also believe we should tell the baby, "No eating the rocks! Lets drop them in the bucket instead" My son knows, No, Drop it, Let Go. He loves hair grabbing and all we have to do is say, "No! Let Go!" And it'll take a few seconds, but he'll let go and he's 10 months old himself.

Redirection is a great tool to lure babies attention else where in situations where it isn't a big deal. My ten month old loves eating his wipes! I pull it away and give him another toy. I also converse with him like a human being and tell him, "Fuzz, no. That will hurt your tummy". All the while motioning at his tummy. There has to be direction with your re-direction.

This is a joke! Ignoring and re-directing is just delaying the problem. When he throws food on the floor say "not on floor-in mouth" and he is done, when he screams/ tantrums= crib timeout until he has a happy heart. Read the Bible...God uses loss of opportunity, timeouts, pain, rebuke and lots and lots of LOVE!

it's about balance.I tell mason no when he pulls the cat's tail. i spank him when he tries to help me "unload" the dishwasher by picking up knives. Redirection is good for some things and spankings for other more dangerous things. And spanking isn't slapping, it's discipline done right when done with love and not out of anger. People really need to start understanding the difference there and stop acting like those of us who use it are abusing our children cause we're not.

@linz_spur on 4/14/2010 10:59:18 PM. "it's part of learning cause and effect." that is so true. and the cause of "pulling on the blinds" will have a effect of "a swift swat on the hand." anybody at any age will "get it" (learn) that pulling the blinds = pain = don't pull the blinds. plain and simple to me. why make it complicated psycho-babble?

I strongly feel this article is 100% on the money. My 10 month old gets into all sorts of mischief but that is her job my job is to teach her right from wrong. Hitting or slapping are never okay in my home and research supports that kids who are hit become hitters. I also teach special education and every behavioral plan I implement teaches rather than punishes. Planned ignoring is a great tool. No judgment to anyone just wanted to give my opinion too.

Are you kidding me?? Is this how we are supposed to discipline our children....by kissing their hand?? Give me a break!! If you kiss their hand then that is showing affection and telling her it's ok.

Why on earth would you slap a little baby?!... they don't know what is right and what is wrong. They have to learn dicipline it isn't a natural instinct!And.. saying no over and over, and yelling is not good either...put things out of reach and redirect their attention to a good thing instead of saying "NO" all the time. Would you want to be hit or yelled at? That isn't the answer!

torijones81 you are so right, thats hilarous. My ten month old does the same thing, whenever I open my closet he would run and pull my shoes out, I would try to shut the closet doors before he gets there and he would turn his head like he's not checking, as soon as I reopen the doors he would hurry over pull out the shoe and burst out laughing while he's running away with it.

hey moms... i TOTALLY agree with what you guys are saying... my 10 month old lil devil just a curious lil monkey... I do the demanding and raise the eyebrow look just like my grandfather would do.. I also enforce the "NO" and give him a spank or slap on the hand if it is done again after telling him "NO". Its frustrating yea but I really enjoy training and teaching him whats ok and whats not... hmm boys are sooo testy

Im glad to hear that im not the only one that feels like these people dont know what there talking about. That is exactly why teens are so outta control now of days. Im sure the ones who wrote this will be the first ones to blame the parents in 15 years when that same little boy or girl is breaking into houses or robbing and beating people.

10 months old is a little young to be spanking because they don't understand why they are getting spanked.

I tell my son (10 months) "No" as I take him away from the item. He smiled the first fews times before he saw that I was not smiling. He tests it still, but that is all part of learning.

my 10 month old knows the meaning of "no" but looks at me, smiles and continues to do whatever he wants...no amount of "redirection" will get him to stop pulling up on the very expensive, slightly flimsy nesting tables...he bumped his chin one day, I let him cry and showed him we cant do that, but he still does it. Either the person that wrote this article has the patience of a saint, or doesnt have a clue what they are talking about!

Oops I was referring to sara421 and the others who think this is complete bull.

I'm glad there's still people alive who know how to discipline their child. I'm a young mother (19, 20 next month) and still I know how to raise a kid better then most the adult (25 and older) parents know. There is a difference between spanking and abuse. There is a difference between a small slap on the hand and down right beating your kid. SORRY BUT THERE IS A REASON WHY KIDS ARE SO OUT OF CONTROL TODAY COMPARED TO 20 YEARS AGO.

This is the most ridiculous article on discipline I've ever read. Kiss their hand? Redirection? Give me a break! I agree with sarah421 and anonymous. I little discipline training never hurt any baby, if done correctly, and makes for a more peaceful home.

Distracting them at 10 months old is not the way to discipline. Tell them no & teach them to stop it.I don't believe in putting things up out of their reach. I raised my kids with things kept where it was & taught them to leave it alone.Now I'm raising my 10 month old grandson the same way. What these ppl say in this article is not discipline its distraction. No wonder we have uncontrollable teenagers/young adults now days.

my 10 month old son he doesn't have any teeth yet shuld i concern or its normal.

torijones81-we raise the blinds to just above her hand reach. that places them where the 10month old can't reach them and also the cord and when down we lay them across the middle of the window where the lock is. This seems to work well. Depending on the height of the windows it also minimizes the view in.

Wow.. Next they're going to suggest we use redirection on career criminals too. Most of those 'distractions' are simply positive reinforcement for inappropriate behavior. Kissing your baby's hand and sweetly telling them not to pull your hair? No. Give it a brief squeeze, enough to give a negative association to the behavior, THEN move on to something else. Otherwise whenever your baby wants attention and a kiss he'll pull your hair. Where are all these quacks coming from lately?

My 10 month goes up the stairs and the whole time I'm saying no but she looks back and continues on as though I'm saying go ahead. We have a barricade there and she keeps figuring out ways to get through. The design of my stairs will not work for one of those gates.Help!!!

Put your blind cords up so they are out of reach. Then she can't pull them or STRANGLE HERSELF on them when u turn your back.

LOL Tori your babuy sounds like mines .. They so naughty!

torijones81- My 10 month old does this too with cords. It's part of learning cause and effect. She's remembering that she got a reaction from you last time she pulled the blinds and is testing to see if she will get a reaction again. They probably think of it as a game without knowing what they are doing is dangerous or something we don't like.

What if your 10 month knows she is doing wrong and consitently does it again and again and stares right at you while she does it? If instance my little girl loves the blinds so during the way they are up but at night you can see straight in my livingroom so I close them the moment they go down she is in the fastest crawl she has to get to them then she stops smiles stares right at me not even looking at the blinds and yanks them!