Gentle Discipline for Babies and Toddlers

i tried time outs & i tried distractions & i tried everything for instance he will not leave his daddys electronics alone: cable box, xbox, etc. and he touches them 5-10 a day. after we tell him no then turns around and does it again, we tell him no a little more stern and say if you touch it you will go in your room. we spat his hand and tell him no stern and turn him around and tell him go play in you room. he cries badly like we just beat him up is this okay?

Spanking teaches a child it's okay to hit if you are proving a point. In a relationship of adults, hitting constitutes abuse. The size difference is much greater between a child and an adult. How can we expect our children to know how to talk out problems with others if we resort to hitting them to make our point? Then we tell them to be nice to other kids and fighting isn't how they solve problems. Talk about mixed signals. We have to set the good example folks.

I do not believe in spanking in any circumstance and I can't believe that anyone would think it's ok to hit a fourteen month old.

My son is 21 months and can be very naughty at times - mainly throwing items, hitting and climbing on tables, chairs etc. I want to start doing time-out's with him, but if I put him in his room, he just plays with his toys - it's not teaching him anything. I can't put him in the corner of the room cause he just won't stay...any ideas?

The thing about spanking is: It doesn't feel good for anybody; the parents don't feel good about doing it, and the kids OBVIOUSLY don't like it... I agree with that much. My problem is that all these experts say not to do it, but don't give any other EFFECTIVE alternatives! I HATE spanking; but when your child is simply NOT listening, or doesn't seem to respond to ANYTHING else, what SHOULD a parent do??

Thank you for a great article like this because I really need this now with my 3 year old daughter, she is so different for my other kids that doesnt need to be spanked. I really doesnt know what to do anymore but I hope I can still change her to be a better kid.

Spanking is a very effective way of disciplining. However when you are angry and spank then it becomes something more. If you do need to spank your child take a minute or two to calm down then do it. I've seen kids who have gotten spanked and those who just get warnings or time outs and the ones who are spanked are much more well behaved and interact more with others.

The American Academy of Pediatrics does not endorse spanking under any circumstance. Please read: http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/pediatrics;101/4/723.pdf

Even the American Academy of Pediatrics acknowledges spanking as a viable disciplinary method. There is no socio-scientific evidence of harm with appropriate spanking. I bought the non-spanking hype for many years until I genuinely looked at the research.

great article. i do disagree with the spanking. we grew up in south africa, and all 4 of us kids got spanked. we are all FINE and lead incredible lives. i think spanking used in the correct way can work, not as a last measure when you are at your wits end and "lash out" at your child.

Proverbs 29:15, `The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.' Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Parenting/2005/02/Do-Not-Spare-The-Rod.aspx#ixzz1jwU190fj

I could never imagine myself physically hurting my son in any way. I am always told by others how good he is and I feel lucky to have him. We have had our difficult moments, but I am always firm yet calm when disciplining him. I believe setting a good example and treating him how I want him to treat others. You absolutely do not need to harm your children for them to grow up to be good people.

I also agree with ya'll about the spanking issue...it is true that you should not hit anyone when you are angry and that is why I do not spank my child out of anger. I use time outs and restrictions for my five year old but when she is being stubbornly and intentionally bad I have given her a good swat on her rear end that lets her know I am serious about her bad behavior. We always talk about why she was punished and I remind her that I love her. It is not an angry or abusive act.

Great information!

I agree with you guys on the spanking issue. I think an occasional spanking (when truly called for)makes a big impact and seldom needs to be repeated. The idea being enforced come accross loud and clear. My 14 month old began a habit of wanting to throw himself backward onto the ground when he didn't get his way- when he was going to do this on the tile floor (and possibly crack his head), he got a spanking- that one time literally remedied the situation.

nice ideas, thanks

I will never understand why "experts" suggest spanking is a bad thing. A well controled, swat on the backside is a necessary form of behavior modification. I think if they still had corpral punishment in schools, the school system would'nt have as many problems with bad behavior. I think too many of the so called experts confuse spanking with actual abuse, there is a big difference.

I would agree with kragland79 to a degree. I try not to spank (I only hit the back of his hand)but I will if he refuses to listen. I need my son to know that he needs to listen to me. It could be a life or death situation and he needs to know that if mommy/daddy says something that he needs to follow.

I'm continually disheartened by 'experts' claiming that spanking creates aggressive, angry children. I choose to give warnings and distractions as well. But, if a spanking is called for, I do it, and then remind my son that I love him and show him better choices. My husband and I get constant comments about what a happy child we have, for which I am very grateful and proud.

very helpful thank you