|
|
 |
|
Daycare Dilemmas
Q. My mom has offered to watch my 15-month-old when I go back to work next month. Part of me loves the idea: I know she adores my daughter, plus we'd save a bundle on childcare. But I can think of potential problems too -- like the fact that she might spoil my baby by letting her eat junk or skip her nap. I can't decide whether this is a good idea!
A. Like you, lots of moms and dads see the benefits of an arrangement like this: There are more than twice as many parents using family members for childcare than there are using daycare centers. But you're smart to think about potential drawbacks too. It's one thing to dismiss a nanny you hired, but it's quite another to fire your mom.
So you really need to treat this in a businesslike way. Meet with your mother to discuss logistics: Even if she refuses to accept any payment, insist on supplying diapers, extra clothes, toys, and food (including healthy snacks.) Agree on a drop-off and pick-up schedule and be prepared to get there on time or call if you'll be delayed -- the same thing that you'd do for a paid childcare worker.
Talk to her about meals, activities, and discipline. Tell her what rules are really important to you and why: "Brenna really needs to nap in the afternoon because it helps her sleep better at night" or "If she eats chips when she's with you, it spoils her appetite for dinner." If it makes things less awkward, blame it on the experts: "Our pediatrician recommends..." or "I just read a new book on discipline, and the psychologist said..."
If you're still tentative -- and, really, you should be -- you might suggest giving it a try for two or three months. A wonderful grandma or a fabulous aunt doesn't always make the best daycare provider, and a trial period will give you both a chance to assess the arrangement and to call it quits (no hurt feelings!) if it isn't working.
What do you think of this story? Tell Us.
|
Related Links
|
Related Videos
|
Comments
Please confirm your comment by answering the question below and clicking "Submit Comment."
My kids, a 3 year old and 18 month old,are attending in "licensed" daycare they been there for over a year recently had problems with the day care. My 18 month old has been bited more than 7 times in a (period of three months)and all daycare said its part developmental of a child, also that child doing the bitting was bored,hello its my child that receiving the bitting. Sorry but the licensed daycare failed me.
5/24/2011 02:18:26 PM Report AbuseI worked/volunteered in several daycares & preschools during college. I did notice that the older kids (2s, 3s & 4s) who had already been in daycare were significantly better-adjusted than kids who'd come from staying at home with mom 24/7. I think there is a lot of value in kids having regular interaction with their peers and getting early exposure to structure, rules, and routine.
3/24/2011 02:37:43 PM Report Abusejust because a daycare is licensed and has annual training plus other various classes doesn't mean that the teachers will treat your child any better, it just means that they really know the difference between right and wrong. Daycares aren't everything they lead everyone to believe because a lot of times the children do not get ALL the care they need because the teacher to child ratio is so high and I should know, I used to work at daycares.
6/18/2010 07:23:51 PM Report AbuseI am employed at a daycare center and I would be the first to say that daycare is very hard on babies and they do not always get all the care and attention they need since their are more than just your baby there, if I could stay at home with my infant I would, and would recommend that anyone.
6/11/2010 08:20:27 AM Report AbuseI just dont trust anybody having a daycare out of their home. I go to a professional licensed daycare center.
2/24/2010 11:44:04 AM Report AbuseAs far as licensing goes...Daycare providers that are licensed are regulated in many ways that an unlicensed home daycare is not. In my state, it is illegal to watch children from more than one family without having a license. There are background checks, annual training requirements, home visits by licensing authority and many rules and regulations. I agree though that just having a license does not necessarily make a good provider. Do your research and interview thoroughly.
2/22/2010 11:00:27 AM Report AbuseTo me this didn't sound like they were telling the mother that a daycare center was better than the grandmother, it seemed more like they were addressing the concern that feelings could be hurt and relationships damaged if things didn't go well. I wouldn't let my mother or mother-in-law watch my 3yr old on a full time basis, simply because they have different child care ideas than I do.
2/22/2010 07:36:55 AM Report AbuseI've found that having a license means very little. I took my seven-month-old to a "licensed" day care provider who used to be a Head Start early childhood ed. teacher, and found out that she was being fed as little as possible and never ONCE had her diaper changed in the 7-8 hours she was there each day.
2/22/2010 07:28:03 AM Report AbuseI don't think they were saying insitutionalized care is better, I think they were telling her she was right to have concerns. Just take those concerns to her mother, address them, and make sure everyone is on the same page prior to beginning full-time care.
11/20/2009 08:27:04 AM Report AbuseMy daughter used to spend 3 days a week with Grandma. But, Gradma refuses to stick babies in another room for naps. She wants them to sleep in the busy livingroom which equates to no nap. Once home it was either go for a nap at 5:30 p.m. or deal with meltdowns until bedtime. Then my sister was unable to keep her the 2 other days. We choose to find a full time sitter. We're finding that having a well rested happy child is worth paying for the sitter.
10/30/2009 02:29:49 PM Report Abuse