Why Is She Crying?

When you've got a new baby in the house, you're likely to hear a lot of crying. Sometimes, a lot more than you ever imagined possible. The average infant cries as many as three hours a day -- and some howl a whole lot more than that. The most wailing comes when a baby is between 6 and 8 weeks -- decreasing to about an hour a day by week 12 and then gradually trailing off.

"Crying is a young baby's most effective means of communication," says Claire Lerner, a child-development specialist at Zero to Three, a Washington, D.C.-based organization that promotes healthy infant development. Still, she says, "it takes time, patience, and careful observation to figure out what your infant is trying to tell you."

Eventually, you'll be able to decode the different sounds your little one makes -- as well as figure out whether she's naturally feisty or innately easygoing. In the meantime, here are some ways to help determine what she's "saying."

"From birth until about 3 weeks, an infant cries mostly because of hunger," says Adam Pallant, M.D., director of the pediatric residency program at Hasbro Children's Hospital, in Providence. Feeding and holding your baby will almost always quiet him down immediately. The typical "I'm hungry" cry is low-pitched, rhythmic, and repeats a pattern of short cry, brief pause, short cry, pause, and so on. Also look for visual cues: A hungry baby will open his mouth, suck his finger, or grope around for your breast when picked up.

Though young babies usually nod off as soon as they feel sleepy, some get so riled up by a lot of activity that they need to be soothed into dreamland. A "fatigue cry" gradually builds in intensity and has a quivering or pulsating sound, says Charles E. Schaefer, Ph.D., director of the Crying Baby Clinic at Fairleigh Dickinson University, in Madison, New Jersey. In addition, a tired baby will typically yawn and rub her eyes. Pay close attention to your infant's cues so she doesn't get overly exhausted. "The more tired she is, the longer it can take to help calm her down," says Janet Squires, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the Southwestern Medical Center at the University of Texas, in Dallas, and a mother of three. "Put her in a quiet place and hold her, rock her, and rub her tummy or side. Look at her and let her look at you so she feels secure." If that doesn't get her to drift off, try giving her a warm bath to help her relax.

Do babies cry simply because they want to be held? Absolutely. If your baby stops crying the minute you pick him up, it's likely that he's been craving skin-to-skin contact. After all, he's been safely carried in the womb for nine months; he may actually miss that closeness. "Don't worry about spoiling an infant in the first three months," Dr. Squires says. "Some babies just need to be cuddled a lot." If your baby is one of those, try using a front carrier to keep him close while giving yourself mobility.

Babies vary in how much and how often they need to be held, however. "When a baby cries, the message is usually that he wants something to change," Dr. Pallant says. "Maybe he wants to be picked up, or maybe you're holding him and he'd prefer to be put down and left alone. Alter his situation, and see if he calms down."

While some babies hate dirty diapers and will let you know right away when they need to be changed, others are oblivious to any discomfort. "Many babies don't care as much about soiled diapers as their parents do," Dr. Pallant says. Either way, this one is easy to investigate -- and remedy.

If you've noticed that your baby gets upset by too much stimulation -- bright lights, loud noises, sudden movements, even too much rocking -- watch for the things that set him off and try to limit them. "When these fussy times occur, soothe your baby by making sure his environment is as calming as possible," Dr. Squires advises. Soften the lights, keep the noise level down, and gently rock him in your arms.

Sensitive babies also tend to be comforted by set routines. Try to establish a regular schedule of feeding, bathing, outings, and bedtime, and stick to it as much as possible. If your little one gets overwhelmed easily, get him used to socializing in small steps.

If you've noticed that your baby gets upset by too much stimulation -- bright lights, loud noises, sudden movements, even too much rocking -- watch for the things that set him off and try to limit them. "When these fussy times occur, soothe your baby by making sure his environment is as calming as possible," Dr. Squires advises. Soften the lights, keep the noise level down, and gently rock him in your arms.

Sensitive babies also tend to be comforted by set routines. Try to establish a regular schedule of feeding, bathing, outings, and bedtime, and stick to it as much as possible. If your little one gets overwhelmed easily, get him used to socializing in small steps.

Can a 6-week-old really get bored? Yes. "Studies show that alert babies have an innate desire to connect with others," Lerner says. A baby might let you know with a whiny moan that she's bored. She may just want to see you or vary her current situation. Try different ways to engage her: Sing to her, turn on the mobile, or simply move her to a different spot so she can enjoy a change of scenery.

In general, the louder and more intense the cry, the more likely your baby is in pain, not just hungry or tired. Check to see if your baby is in an uncomfortable position. "Make sure he isn't slumped down in the infant seat or that his foot isn't caught in his carrier," Dr. Haller suggests. If his crying continues, undress him completely and look for the source of discomfort: Are his clothes too tight? Is there a hair wrapped around a toe or finger that's cutting off circulation?

The sound of a sick baby is distinct from her usual cries, and most parents instinctively know something is wrong. "A sick cry tends to have more of a weak, whimpering quality than a needy or frustrated cry," Dr. Squires says. If a baby is truly inconsolable, is not eating normally, appears listless, or shows other signs of sickness -- fever, vomiting, diarrhea -- call your pediatrician.

Dealing with a crying baby can make anyone tense and upset, but if you get too worked up about it, the situation can get worse. "Babies pick up on your nervousness and frustration, and cry even more," Dr. Squires says. Remember, one of the best ways to take care of your baby is to take good care of yourself: Get enough rest, eat right, and indulge yourself in some pampering whenever you can. Never hesitate to turn your baby over to your partner, a friend, a relative, or a trusted caregiver when you need a break. Refreshed and happy, you'll be better able to give your baby a reason to smile.