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How to Wean Your Child from Breastfeeding
By the time my breastfed son celebrated his first birthday, I was ready to wean him. He did not, however, share my feelings. Forget security blankets, pacifiers, and teddy bears. My son's attachment object was literally attached to me -- and he was not going to give it up without a fight.
Exhibit A: Jonah attempting to pull up my shirt to nurse while we waited in line at the supermarket. He knew what he wanted and, like most toddlers, wasn't shy about making his demands known in the loudest possible tones, if necessary. Three years earlier, I had nearly as difficult a time weaning my daughter at 20 months.
This was not exactly what I envisioned when I committed to breastfeeding. Like most parents, I wanted to do what was best for my children. So when I learned, in the first blush of motherhood, that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for the first year of baby's life (the World Health Organization favors a two-year minimum), I simply bought more nursing bras.
It certainly wasn't hard labor. I loved the quiet intimacy of nursing. What I wasn't prepared for was how difficult it can be to wean an older child. While babies are relatively malleable -- and even seem to lose interest in nursing at around 9 months -- toddlers, well, they have their passions. Weaning them can be a parenting ordeal right up there with potty training. "If you haven't weaned your child by 18 months, it's very difficult to do so until about 36 months," says Ruth Lawrence, MD, a professor of pediatrics and obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Rochester School of Medicine.
That's not to suggest that women should break out the bottles or cups before they're ready. I have no regrets about having nursed my kids for as long as I did, and not only because it was a precious part of our day. The well-documented benefits of breast milk continue beyond babyhood.
According to one study, about 11 percent of nursing moms are still breastfeeding their babies at a year, a number that has been steadily rising. So weaning a toddler is a challenge that a small but growing number of mothers are likely to confront.
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This article was unhelpful. I wanted to know about how to wean--the mechanics of it and best practices for breast health, I did not need to sift through anecdotes about kids freaking out about weaning. My kid is content and happy, but I have not found much information about the physical effects for me.
5/27/2011 10:14:43 AM Report AbuseMy son is almost 3 now, and I'm pregnant again. From my last post... Finally I managed to wean him off when he turned 2... by getting him to sleep in another room, with my mom in law! So, perhaps that's the only way!
5/10/2011 10:55:03 PM Report AbuseMy experience with breastfeeding (Its my first child) was and still is wonderful but my problem is that I would like to have another child soon and I would like to breasfeed again, so I would like to have my son weaned before I get pregnant again.
2/9/2011 02:44:39 AM Report AbuseI am so happy i found this website. I have been so worried about weaning. My son is almost 16 months and it has been so stressfull trying to wean him. I have tried to just not allow him and that is miserable. He cries and doesnt understand and acts like im just being mean to him and it breaks my heart. Ive tried to help him get attached to a stuffed animal but to him that is not the same as "nin" as he calls it. I am so worried that he will be three or four and still wanting "nin".
2/9/2011 02:37:01 AM Report Abuse(continued) ...I dun mind but I am trying to get pregnant n I worry that I may not,n even if I do,d feeding may cause contractions n I may lose the baby. I mean,I'm a diagnosed PCOS n I had a cerclage2keep my first one due2cervical incompetence.
8/5/2010 11:37:28 PM Report AbuseI'm so lost.My 21-month-old REFUSES2bweaned off.Yes he's eating solids n formula by cup,bt he has to cry himself2sleep at night n he won't nap in d afternoon w/out d boobies.I tried4a whole month,both of us ended up w/out much sleep.So I've given up.But it's backfirg now coz of the 1-month break,im not producing as much milk,so now he is feeding THROUGHOUT the night just2make up for d slower flow of milk.
8/5/2010 11:37:10 PM Report AbuseThis information has soothed me heart greatly; It's five in the morning and I just haven't been able to sleep. I stopped breastfeeding about three days ago, and it has been very hard. I don't mind the engorged breast, but seeing my daughter (age 2) kicking and screaming breaks my heart.
7/22/2010 07:10:08 AM Report Abuse(continued from below) At the same time, I'm honestly afraid the child will have a baby breakdown if I take away the thing she loves most-the milk booby. I've considered leaving her with my mother for a few days for a "force weaning" but I know she'd just expect to go right back to nursing, and I'm such a sissy that I'm sure I'd let her. Not to mention how miserable I'd be knowing how miserable SHE was. Has anyone else had success getting their kid to even taste something other than breast milk?
6/27/2010 08:58:58 PM Report AbuseMy daughter is 14 months old, and uses me as her only source of beverage as well as her pacifier. I literally have dozens (maybe 100+) of pacifiers, bottles and sippy cups, and have filled the bottles and cups with everything from strawberry banana juice to chocolate shake. If she gets a taste of any of it, she spits it out. But 99.9% of the time she just plays with it. I love the child more than life itself, and I know booby milk is good for her, but I want my body back.
6/27/2010 08:53:18 PM Report AbuseMy son is 18 months old and still breastfeeding, mostly before bed time, nap time and first thing in the morning.This is very different for me b/c my 1st son weaned himself at a year old.Iplan on letting my son wean himself, when he is ready.It is hard at times, I work 35 hrs a week and he still nurses at night. But I know this won't last for ever, so I'm enjoying my time with him.
5/15/2010 10:04:44 AM Report AbuseAlso, I assume she is getting cereal and you've introduced baby foods (fruits & vegetables)...she may be inclined to nurse less often.
3/16/2010 01:45:16 PM Report AbuseMMcglennen, Your daughter is 7 mos old...have you tried offering her formula/or breastmilk in a cup?
3/16/2010 01:43:37 PM Report AbuseI'm still breastfeeding my son of 22 months & I want to wean him by his birthday. He does go to daycare 3 days a week without any problems there, but as soon as I get home @ 6pm-he gets the breast. He also stays @ grandmas house for 2 nights in a row without me around & she claims he does pretty well...at night he does wake up looking for me because that's my other problem -that he sleeps in my bed still!So if anyone has a few ideas it would be much appreciated!
3/16/2010 12:27:25 PM Report AbuseMy family and friends have been no help they have never breastfed or at least not this long they think I should just leave her with someone for a few days and she'll eat or she wont. I don't want this to be totally stressful on her anymore than it has to be and they dont understand.Any helpful tips would be very much appreciated.
3/14/2010 01:31:28 PM Report AbuseI've looked at so much online and just really confuse at this point and with no luck finding anything helpful? as anyone else had this problem everyone I've known that has breast fed as at least been able to pump and someone else feed.
3/14/2010 01:31:25 PM Report AbuseI just got an opportunity of a life time with a business offer in june I will be leaving home for 4 days I need to know how to get my daughter to succesfully take a bottle I'm even willing to pump and continue breastfeeding just would be a nice switch for someone else to be able to feed her for a change and especially with my trip coming up.
3/14/2010 01:31:04 PM Report AbuseIm at a complete loss and no one has been able to help me... My daughter is 7 months old and has been exclusivly breast fed she absolutley refuses to take a bottle even if it means skipping a few feedings.We have tried just about every different kind of bottle/nipple it just doesn't seem to matter. First I thought maybe she just didn't like the taste of the formula so I've tried pumping and still no luck.
3/14/2010 01:30:18 PM Report Abuseistinna- I had that problem a few weeks ago with my 9 month old girl, she started biting me after getting her upper teeth. But I wanted to continue nursing. My doctor told me to stop her the second she did it, and look her in the eyes and tell her "don't ever do that again" and it worked!!!
3/10/2010 07:33:05 PM Report Abuseeveryone is different, every child is different, no one should be judging here. not all women are selfless enough to breastfeed in the first place. i commend you for even trying at all. if you can't stand it anymore or are just ready to move on from breastfeeding i would say to start with the don't offer don't refuse, if that doesn't work then find something to substitute.
2/17/2010 02:36:17 PM Report AbuseI need help getting my daughter to take a bottle...she is three months now and has been strictly breastfed...as soon as an imitation nipple touches her mouth she knows the difference...nursing on the run is a little difficult...any ideas?
1/30/2010 09:48:50 PM Report AbuseI'm a mom of 4!! I'm still nursing my youngest who is 16 months old. I started out by saying I would only nurse the first 6 months then it turned into a year and i'm still going. I want to stop but I recently started working and feel guilty getting him off. Thats the first thing he wants from me when I get home. He takes the bottle with others but not with me. HELP!!!!
1/26/2010 03:18:51 PM Report Abusehay i am in a big problem i want to stop breastfeeding but i dont know how,my son is 15 month 2day ,i tried to stop but he just want hee is eating ok ?
1/11/2010 12:16:59 PM Report AbuseBreastfeeding has been a hard experience for me. I got breast infection a few times, my nipples cracked and bleed, it was a very rough start. Then it became all better until my daughter got her teeth! Now, it is so very painful and not at all enjoyable. I almost HATE breastfeeding now. And my daughter wouldn't want to let it go... Every time I start nursing, I bite my lips from pain. For some mothers, it's a great experience, and for some it is not.
12/30/2009 09:00:07 PM Report AbuseAlthough many offer advice, it is the mother's prerogative when it comes to breast-feeding and weaning her baby. Koodos to mothers who take the time and make the commitment to breast-feed.
12/16/2009 09:25:42 PM Report AbuseAs with all articles out there, read it and take from it what you find useful. I found the article to be helpful in that there are other mothers out there that are going through weaning an older child. I am still nursing my 25 month old daughter and was happy to see the suggestions offered. If you were the ones trying to wean a child that didn't want to be weaned, you would try anything so don't be quick to judge until you have been there yourself.
11/15/2009 12:12:05 PM Report AbuseSeriously, hasn't anyone writing this article heard of 'don't offer, don't refuse'? Also, "replace it with a fun breakfast food, such as Mickey Mouse pancakes. Or put a scoop of ice cream on top of a bowl of cereal." WTH!? ICE CREAM, JUNK FOOD for breakfast!? What kind of healthy, nutritional diet are you setting your kid up for? Now I see where the child obesity epidemic is stemming from.
10/30/2009 08:41:18 PM Report AbuseMy son weaned himself at about 21 months. He would become so upset if I refused the breast that I just let him take the lead. He was very adamant about not wanting to nurse any more when HE was ready. There is no need to make weaning a traumatic experience for baby!
10/26/2009 10:33:37 AM Report AbuseAlso, what about extended nursing? Talk to moms who choose this option and share how they teach their toddler BFing "etiquette" (i.e. nursing only at home, or code names so they¿re not yelling "boobies" in public). From what I hear many extended nursers find that baby eventually slowly stops on their own. Maybe not at 12-18 months but not typically till kindergarten either. Someone told me "It's not like ur gonna move into your kids college dorm room!" Just sayin, it¿s not going to last forever.
10/23/2009 02:59:50 PM Report AbuseWhoa... I was totally offended by this article. I thought you writers are supposed to remain neutral. Have you heard of self-led weaning. How about the "don't offer don't refuse method?" There are so many gentle ways to go about weaning that would be a lot more healthy for both mom and baby. And Molly was only 14 months old when her mom was describing her having that tantrum in the park, I could understand the feeling of frustration if she were 4 years old... but I mean come on!!!
10/23/2009 02:11:21 PM Report Abuse