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What should I do if my mother-in-law plays favorites?

My mother-in-law plays favorites. While out one day she took hundreds of pictures of her other grandchildren and only three of my daughter. She also didn't call my daughter on her birthday. We have tried to say something to her about it, but she doesn't see it. What can we do? I don't want my daughter to grow up and wonder why her nana doesn't like her as much as her cousins.
Submitted by ascanlon416

Sorry to hear about your mother in law. Do you have any insights into why she might play favorites? Anything in her background that might explain this behavior? Understanding the root of problems can help us find solutions. In the meantime, you did the right thing to approach her and ask her directly. Since that was ineffective you will have to shield your daughter from the disappointments as best you can.  Make sure your daughter spends time with other grown ups that feel more positively about her. When she brings it up, have a frank discussion with her. One always grows from both positive and negative experiences in life. As they say, “life is a great teacher.” Playing favorites is a common problem that your daughter will face in school, on teams and eventually in the workplace so you can help her by learning to deal with these challenges. The key is to not let others peoples' decisions and shortcomings negatively impact her self esteem. Make sure your daughter always knows how special she is.


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Stop seeing nana; nana is selfish and only cares about herself. There's no reason to subject your daughter to being shunned and ignored. The expert makes nana's disrespectful treatment out as if it's a favour or no big deal. Nana sucks. Stop making your kid see her.
Submitted by mdklksd
This is no expert answer!! Your MIL is a cold hearted you know what. It stems from HER experiences, and has nothing to do with you. MOVE ON and find joy in your own famiy. Let that woman go from your heart and feelings. A real mother never shows differences in her love. College in this scenario was worthless. Your child is beautiful. The therapist, not so much.
Submitted by redmondpetsitt1
Same. My MIL and FIL took two cameras full of One granddaughters prom, while for mine, my MIL took ZERO pictures, stood toward the "back" of the crowd, and was heard by my 14 year old neice to only be speaking of "her other granddaughter." As a matter of fact, when my daughter's dates Mom arrived she said, "Wow you are gorgeous what a beautiful dress," and before I could introduce my MIL to the Mom, she said, My other granddaughters prom was two weeks ago and she had a pretty dress too."
Submitted by Spargoml1
I had to deal with this issue with my mother-in-law also for quite a while. Only the 'favorite' was my step-daughter. One day the MIL-who's almost 60 or something- actually said to my 5 year old "Noneof the toys at my house are yours, Kaylee. They're all Chloe's. You weren't here when you were little." Can someone please tell me why she had the nerve to say that directly to my daughter??? Even her father favors the older one. Says she's his "pride and joy". Doesn't give a dang about his younger one. I've always made sure to treat them equally, as if Chloe were my own child. That was part of the reason I seperated from him. My little girl deserves so much better. I do not want her being treated negatively by her own father and grandmother. I really hope things get better for your family and your little girl. Best of luck!
Submitted by laurenalicia861
I too have this same issue. My husband and I confronted her, and she said it was because we lived in another state until our son was 2. On the other hand, she babysat our nephew almost daily from birth. I let her know that if it was obvious to me, that it would eventually be appearant to our son. And it seems that in true instinctual fashion, he much prefers his grandpa's company. There is not much I can do about it, except to make sure my son is respectful and has manners. Otherwise, I feel the mother-in-law has brought it upon herself.
Submitted by luckiegrrl777